The Reason

Chapter Seven

Just as her warning words are beginning to sink in, Aidan comes around the corner of the corridor. "He wants to see you, Angel."

My stomach rolls with excitement, nerves and apprehension. "Really?" My question is pitched high with total surprise.

"Yes, but the nurse has said that you're to be quick as he really needs to rest."

That's my cue to stand and get my backside into the ward where Rex is now waiting for me. With no time for dithering around, I quickly follow Aidan who is thankfully leading the way. As soon as we reach a curtained off hospital bed, I feel my heart thumping against my chest with burdened beats. I'm afraid of what trauma I'll see behind that curtain and I'm afraid of the man that I love behind that curtain. I'm so afraid that he'll push me away at a time when he needs me more than ever. "I'll leave you both to it, then." Aidan quietly says, before leaving me all alone with my growing apprehension.

Inhaling a deep and brave breath, I gently pull the cubicle curtain to one side so I can quietly enter. Both of my hands fly up to my mouth as an involuntary gasp escapes my shocked throat. "Oh Rex!" I cry out with a strangled whisper, utterly shocked by the sight before me.

It's core-crushing to see someone that you care so much for, look so very depleted of all that makes them the person that they are, covered in so many wires and surrounded by scary and noisy monitors. It's emotional overload.

His heavy eyes slowly open to the sound of my broken and quaking voice. Although weakened and brief, his dull gaze is quickly removed from me, vacantly falling somewhere on the bed instead.

Undeterred by his subdued indifference, I edge closer, reaching down for his still hand. As weak as he is, his hand flinches at my touch and he pulls it free from my tentative hold. "Just don't." The warning comes out as a gravelly, faint whisper.

It hurts, his unwillingness to allow me to comfort him—it really does hurt. But I must put my selfishness to one side and try not to react to Rex's unnerving coldness. With an apprehensive half-smile, I try to engage him in any way that I can. "I know you don't want me here, so I appreciate you allowing me to see you. I hope you'll understand Rex, that I had to come. That might not make any sense to you, but it makes absolute sense to me." The corners of my mouth curl upwards, hoping that my quietly said words and my nervous smile will maybe get through to him.

Rex drags his eyes back up to mine, so defeated and sedate. "Why?" He asks, his voice so hoarse and dry.

Tilting my head with affection, my smile returns. "I'm here, because I care." Reaching for his hand again, I pray this time he doesn't flinch it away. He doesn't, so I continue trying to make him understand. "There are not enough words to tell you just how much you mean to me, Rex." My grip tightens on his very still hand, as I look deeply into his emotionless green eyes.

His expression remains blank, his face the canvas for a pallid complexion. Needing to clear his throat first, he tries to talk a little louder. "You can't be here." It is then that he frees his hand from my anxious grip.

Ignoring his weak protesting, I lean in closer. "Please don't say that, Rex." Not once do I take my eyes off him. I can't seem to find the right pleading words that will make him change his mind and allow me to stay.

"Please...just go." He hoarsely begs, staring at me with shuttered, dead eyes.

Lifting his hand again, I cradle it in both of mine, my whisper now a pitiful plea. "Let me stay with you?"

Rex looks away from me and stares up at the hospital ceiling, his hollow spheres stubbornly refuse to let me see any emotion that may be sitting within them. "I want you to leave, Angel." His voice is quiet yet determined. "I could have died. My team could have died...because of you." He doesn't grace me enough time to react to his bitter outburst. Instead, he weakly continues. "I screwed up because you are inside my head and it nearly killed me...you are killing me." He says through clenched teeth.