Shadow Life

Shadow Life Chapter 6

Shadow Life

Chapter 6

Author's Note: This chapter will have a graphic description of abuse, sexual abuse, and torture.

Christian's POV:

I decide to go check on Ana after the conversation with my mom. I am so worried about her but my mother's right, all I can do is wait for Ana to trust me enough to open up to me so I can finally help her heal.

As I enter my bedroom, I notice Ana is nowhere to be found. I get worried for a moment but then I hear the shower running in the bathroom. I decide to wait for Ana to finish and give her some privacy, which I'm sure she hasn't had in six years. I wait 20 minutes but I no longer hear the shower running so I decide to knock.

"Ana, Baby, are you okay?"

I get no response from the inside of the bathroom but, I hear her crying heart-wrenching sobs that break my heart into a million pieces. I knock again and still get no response.

"Ana, Baby?"

I'm getting more worried by the second. I decide to see if the door is unlocked. I try the door and as I twist the knob it gives way, which I am grateful for. Upon entering the bathroom, I see Ana at the bottom of the shower, rocking back and forth. I kneel in front of her and try to comfort her.

"Ana, baby, look at me. Please?"

She continues to rock back and forth crying. I wish there was a way I could get to her in this darkness. I feel as if it's pulling her down deeper and deeper and I can't rescue her.

Ana's POV:

I can't get him out of my mind. He won't leave me alone. He is always there, taunting me, his voice, his breath, his scent, it's all with me, the feel of his hands on my body, the taste of his breath when he would kiss me after many of our daily "sessions". I was fine until I touched my stomach and felt the many scars that are there. I looked at my legs and see the bruises and scars there as well. I can no longer deal with the memories any longer. I collapse to the shower floor and begin to sob.

I cover my ears to block out Jack's and Jose's voices. I want to be free. I really do but I don't know how not to let my demons win. I cover my ears to block out the voices and begin self-soothing by rocking back and forth. I use to do it on the worst days with that monster and in that hell hole.

It's not real anymore. I'm with Christian and Grace. I still can't believe he found me. I don't remember leaving the event but, I'm glad I was found by Christian. The next thought through my mind is how do I tell Christian everything I went through, him seeing me as a piece of trash and nothing he ever wants to be around again. As these thoughts go through my mind, I hear Christian knocking on the door but I can't get my mind to focus on the present. My mind goes to one of the worst days in that hell hole:

Jack was pissed for some unknown reason but, with Jack, he never needs a reason to be abusive. He really was just a monster. This day was the worst by far. He had decided to tie my hands behind my back and string me up by my neck, I am hanging by my throat as the rope is tightening my feet are barley touching the floor I am on my tiptoes trying to stay balanced so the rope won't cut off my air supply. and whip me with a flogger and belt until my skin was red, raw, ripped open and bleeding.

At this moment, all I want to do is beg him to let me die, but he just laughs and keeps attacking me without mercy. Then he decided to tighten the rope around my neck to the point I could barely breathe. I was choking, trying to breathe while he was laughing while, with all my might, I was trying to loosen the rope around my neck by wiggling my hands to get my wrists free so I can reach up and try and loosen the rope around my neck but the knots are so tight that it is no use. He realized that I was close to blacking out and he finally let the rope slack while I tried to get breath back into my body. He just looked at me with a smirk on his face and released me. The next thing I remember, Jack is on top of me, his fist in me and I hear and feel the tearing of my flesh. I feel blood running down my legs as he keeps tearing me open.

I see Jose in the corner of my little room, just standing there, doing nothing to save me. Granted, Jose's abuse of me is verbal, not physical. What I don't understand is how he can just stand there and see the pain in my eyes and just stand by and let Jack abuse me. I will never truly understand Jose's motives in helping Jack. To me it seems he's just as trapped as I am. He does nothing to get me free so he is just as much of a monster as Jack, in my eyes.

Jack finally stops the torture when he sees that I'm no longer struggling and crying. He likes it when I put up a fight but, lately I just do what I need to do to survive.

All of a sudden I feel a hand touch my face. It's Christian and I am brought out of the memory of that horrible day.

Christian's POV:

I watch as I think Ana might be reliving a memory. I place my hand on her face to bring her back to the present and back to me.

"Ana, come back to me baby. You're okay. Wherever you are now, it's in the past, in your memory, baby. Ana, I'm here, right here in front of you. You're safe with me, baby."

I can see her trying to fight the memories and demons, trying to get back to me and the present so I decide to hum a song She loves, " It's Your Love" by Tim McGraw, to see if I can break her out of her trance. I keep my eyes locked on hers so she has something loving to focus on. I can see her finally coming around and the look in her eyes is haunting me to my soul. I try and not push her any faster then she wants to go because I want her to move forward and not take steps back into the past.

"Ana, honey, come back to me, baby. I'm here I'm not leaving you, Okay?" Then I finally hear my angel's voice.

Ana's POV:

I can feel the fog from the memory lifting from my mind and, in front of me I see my savior, my Christian. I want to reach out to him but I'm scared of his reaction. So, I decide to speak, "Christian"? My voice sounds foreign to my ears and it feels weak, it feels as if I haven't spoken in years which, I guess I haven't because the best way to survive everything was not to speak or react to anything. When I realize, he may not have heard me, I try again, "Christian". I see him respond to my voice by smiling at me.

"Ana, baby, are you okay?"

I nod "yes" but truthfully, I am far from okay. I don't want to reveal what happen to me to Christian. I really don't but, when I consider his eyes, my resolve starts to crumble. I throw myself at Christian and the next thing I know, I am wrapped in his warm embrace. I look deeply into those eyes I have loved for so long, hoping that he will still love me after my horrible past is revealed.

I hold on to Christian for dear life. I don't want to let him go. I final feel safe after all these years. We sit in a comfortable silence, just loving being in each other's embrace. After a while I notice my legs are getting numb from siting for so long.

"Christian, we need to get up my legs are asleep."

With the grace of a gazelle, Christian is up in one smooth motion and he helps me off the bathroom floor. We head out into his bedroom and sit on the bed. I take a deep breath and just stare at Christian for a moment. I start to hyperventilate about what I am about to reveal to him.

Christian's POV:

I help Ana stand and we make our way into the bedroom where we sit silently on the bed. She looks in my eyes and I try and convey my love for her through the look we share. I can see, through her body language that she is desperately scared of letting her secrets out. I, again, don't push her, but I watch her start to hyperventilate, so I take her face in my hands and try to calm her down.

"Ana, baby, focus on me. It's going to be ok. We'll go as fast or as slow as you want. You don't need to tell me everything at once, but I want you know, whatever you tell me, it won't change how I feel about you."

"Christian, I'm scared. What I'm going to tell you is not pretty. I barely survived most days because I was in so much agony. I never got a moment to recover from one session of torture before it felt like another would begin."

What Ana is describing is heartbreaking. It just makes me wish that I was able to find her sooner but, I just have to remember that, by the grace of some higher power that was protecting her all these years, she was able to get free and that higher power led her to safety and back home to me.

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