Greys II - Ghosts

Chapter 34 - Devil Devil

Devil devil, you take the shape of everything I'm drawn to,
but your eyes are dead and red. Red as rust.
Do not try me, devil devil.

MILCK - Devil Devil

In my weeks at the Vault, I had never seen Abby's door closed, unless I was already inside. He said it let him eavesdrop more easily on his charges, but in reality he was just too friendly to turn someone away, even when he was busy. That should have been my first sign that something was off. His door was shut. A sick feeling began to crawl over my skin as I got closer, like a warning, but not from my Shift, something else entirely. I took a deep breath before raising my fist to knock.

"Come in."

His familiar voice called to me before my hand ever touched the thick, carved oak of his door. Abby's office was connected to his quarters, along with an attached library where he claimed to spend ninety percent of his time when he wasn't 'out causing trouble'. The door to his library was slightly ajar as I entered, filling the room with the scent of ancient books and brittle paper. But Abby was sitting behind his desk which I had always thought was a bit monstrous, with enough drawers and files to easily house a whole other library in addition to his traditional one.

His hands were steepled before him and my sick feeling grew when I saw the lines on his face, the set of his jaw, the barely veiled worry in his pale, watery blue eyes.

"How are you feeling today?"

His calm voice gave nothing away.

"Fine."

I'd like to believe my voice sounded just as calm, but I could hear the distrust in it.

"And how is your headache?"

"Better, actually. How did you know?"

I realized it was almost completely gone for the first time in weeks.

"Just making polite chit-chat, no need to be suspicious, child."

At first I'd hated it when he called me child, like I wasn't mature enough, or self-sufficient enough to be seen as an equal, but soon I saw it as a term of endearment from the old man. I wasn't sure of his age, but I assumed his lifespan gave him the privilege of calling anyone younger than him 'child'. I also assumed everyone was younger than him, so his nickname no longer needled me.

"Who else is here?"

My voice came out strange again, strangled, though I couldn't tell why. I didn't have any reason to feel as breathless as I did, to feel my chest tightening with each beat my heart sent through me. I couldn't feel anyone else in Abby's rooms, couldn't sense another mind, but still I knew.

"How is your mood today?"

Then it all came together, clicking into place like perfectly oiled gears. A nightmare come to me even as I was awake. I met Abby's eyes with disbelief. There was no way this was happening, not now. It was too soon, I wasn't ready. I didn't want this now, or ever. How could he do this to me without a warning, without even discussing it with me first? I wasn't ready, I knew that much, maybe I never would be, but I certainly wasn't now.

I shook my head slowly, numbly, as I backed away toward the door, my feet hardly listening to my command. I wanted to turn and run, but they would only slowly shuffle backwards, as if through deep water and thick mud. As if I was still in a nightmare. My mind felt slow, from shock or dread I wasn't sure. Everything was just so slow. The entire world dragged more and more, heavier and heavier, until it felt like a crawl.

I saw Abby's fingers twitch, just the pointer and middle of his left hand, toward the open door behind me and it swung shut with a muted click. That's when my skin started to prickle, a foreign feeling I wished wasn't so hauntingly familiar.