Chapter 5

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  • Dedicated to Erin Jacobs
                                    

Jan woke up exhausted. She faced her usual morning struggle: motivating herself to get out of bed when she felt like she was trapped in quicksand. She tried telling herself that she was looking forward to finally taking a positive step in doing something good for herself. Despite her past delays, today she was going to work out.

As soon as she ate breakfast, called Nichole, did her laundry, bought some cute workout outfits, cleaned up her apartment, went grocery shopping, and took her car to the car wash, that is. Oh, and got a pedicure. Those country clubbers could sense things like un-pedicured toes. Mere fabric could not hide the existence of untamed cuticles and dead skin cells.

"Maybe I'll just stop by Starbucks for a caramel macchiato first," Jan mused, instantly feeling strong enough to break free of her imaginary restraints. She carefully folded her sheets and comforter down to the end of her bed and gingerly removed her feet out from under them. Once she was satisfied that nothing could trip her up, Jan leaped into the air with visions of Starbucks dancing in her head. Her leap was a little too enthusiastic for her feet however, which didn't quite have time to catch up with her eagerness. She landed unsteadily on the balls of her feet, threw her weight backwards to avoid face planting into the floor, her arms flailing madly at her sides trying to compensate for her lack of balance, and fell on her ass.

"Dammit!" she screamed and punched the floor with both fists. That hurt. She grabbed her pillow off the bed and strangled it. She then proceed to beat it on the ground left and right before burying her face in it and screaming, "Ahh!"

After regaining her composure, she tossed her pillow back on her bed and used the edge of the mattress to pull herself up. While rubbing her sore rear end, Jan thought about what to do next. She'd already had her Tic Tac: wintergreen. And checked her phone: no calls. It was only 11 AM though. That's pretty early for someone to be calling, even on a Sunday, Jan thought. She'd better wait a little while before trying Nichole to figure out where they wanted to meet up for shopping. Jan was relying on Nichole to tell her where to find cute workout clothes.

While waiting to consult her friend, Jan decided a shower was a good way to begin her day. Falling on her ass didn't count as an appropriate beginning.

After she had finished her shower and dried off, she blew her hair dry and then checked her cell just in case Nichole had called. She tried to look on the bright side when she didn't see a message indicator; at least her mother hadn't called again.

With her towel snugly in place around her and her cell hanging from a strap on her wrist, Jan sprinted a few feet into her closet. She put on a nice pair of pants and a white blouse and went into the living room. It was only 11:37 AM. Still too early to call anyone.

To pass the time, Jan ate a "healthy" sesame bagel with enough low-fat cream cheese on it that she couldn't taste the disgusting bagel, and flipped on her computer. She stared at it hopefully, though she was beginning to wonder if all her chat friends had blocked her. No one ever seemed to be online anymore. She briefly considered creating a new account and checking if anyone from her list showed up then. This was a surefire way to tell if anyone online had blocked you. She ultimately decided it wasn't worth the effort. Did she really want to know, anyway? Nah.

She gave up and signed off. It was 11:51 AM, which was practically noon, which was no longer morning; therefore, it was okay to call Nichole.

She tried her cell but it went straight to voicemail. Jan hung up and tried Nichole's landline at her apartment. The line was busy.

An annoyed Jan flopped onto her couch and turned on the TV. As usual, there was nothing good to watch.

She waited around for about an hour — rotating between checking her email, flipping through her TV channels, and thinking up elaborate ways to torture Nichole — before acknowledging that she had been ditched again.

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