beyond the monotonous city

twenty six

Lauren didn't realize it but she fell asleep in the chair where Alejandro left her. She woke up to a mild headache as she fell asleep still crying. She wasn't gonna lie, but she felt hollowed out already the moment she woke up, and she hadn't even seen Camila yet.

She hung her head back, thinking of what happened and what she remembered. She saw a figure approaching her and saw Sinu approach her carefully, a smile on her face. She sat beside her. "How are you Lauren? Ale told me you had a bad breakdown earlier. Feel better?" She put a hand around her forehead, testing her body temperature.

Lauren sniffed and rubbed her eyes. They were dried out from all the crying. "I guess, I just-my feelings aren't important right now. How's Camila?"

Sinu shook her head, and put a hand on her leg. "Lauren, you are just as important. Knowing what you've been through, mental health is just as important as physical health. Camila would want you to be feeling better."

"I feel a lot better, I just remembered a really bad memory when I passed by the ER." Lauren wasn't satisfied. "But how is she?"

"She's better, she's just resting." Sinu reassured. Though, Lauren didn't feel the slightest bit assured.

Lauren frowned. "I-I'm so confused. Camila got better, she had that surgery. I thought her blackouts went away." Her voice sounded like a puppy whining, but she couldn't blame her emotions.

Sinu looked like she didn't know what to say. She sighed, patting her leg. "Lauren I assume she told you that. It's the easier story to tell. But before she started senior year, she had one of those routine check ups. That's when we found out that her complications came back, she had surgery when she was 10 to fix a narrow valve in her heart and it worked but apparently now, complications arose."

"So she was sick all along? I thought she got healed." Lauren felt her spirits plummet with every word Sinu said. She hoped she was wrong.

Sinu pursed her lips, and nodded gently. Lauren shut her eyes, burying her face in her hands. Sinu put an arm around her, rubbing her back. "Lauren, when you have heart disease, nobody is permanently healed. That's the sad truth. Camila got really better after surgery, when before her odds were 1/16 and were stacked against her, it became bigger, she got ⅔ and for her and us that was enough. Camila lived her life as normal as everyone else."

Lauren felt the weight of the woman's words bear down on her and crush her once more. She was forced to accept the inevitable, that Camila had been sick all along. She found tears again when she thought she had none left. Her world seemed to vanish, as she got lost in her despair. Sinu just kept her arm around her, in attempt to console her as Lauren cried out all of her pent up feelings about Camila's situation.

When she felt like she cried her eyes dry once more, Sinu pulled her in for a hug.

"I'll get you some water and food." Sinu announced, preparing to leave.

"I don't think I can see Camila, not yet." Lauren said worriedly.

Sinu nodded. "Yes, I understand I'll get you some food and drinks."

Lauren thought to herself the entire time that she was alone. That was probably why Camila looked tired out before they were finishing her hike, but she didn't let Lauren on. Lauren thought of the moments Camila might have been hiding her feelings just so she couldn't be bothered. She hated that she never really bothered, when Camila felt cryptic or detached. She could have been feeling something then.

Before she could continue, Sinu came back with a juice box and a slice of pizza inside a ziploc bag. Lauren thanked her and at her food in silence, remembering how tiring it was to break down and cry your eyes dry twice. Sinu patiently waited until she was done.