A Mother's Love

Chapter Sixteen

    "What'd you mean Mom?" Gracelyn asks her mother, "I don't understand". "Look Honey, what I am trying to say is that I know a lot more of the struggles you have been encountering than you think. I know what pain is and I know how much it can take up your life. I also know that it can get too overwhelming at times that you need to cut yourself right?", "Yeah...", "You may not have realized this, I haven't told much of this to your father when he was still alive...but you may have not noticed this..." Karissa takes off her fleecy, white sweater that she was wearing and shows Gracelyn some of the very faint, thick scars that were nearly close to fading away which there was some still imbedded on the edge of her right arm. The reaction she had seen on her daughter's face was something that she would never ever forget as those jaws were dropped almost to the floor.
    "M-Mom...d-did you cut?", "Yes Gracelyn, I've had. Many of them have healed in time, but some are still showing its colours. I was about in my late teens, into my early adulthood when I became addicted to it.", "Mom, you seriously had cut yourself? L-Like I'm doing?", "Yes Honey", "I-I don't know what to say right now, I really had thought I was the only one that was dealing with this alone.", "Thank goodness your not dear. Let me tell you something though, the world may seem small in your mind Gracelyn but honestly, we live in a huge world where each single individual is dealing with their own problems in so many different ways, that nobody is perfect. Even though it may seem like you're battling it alone, you certainly are not. Life can through us curves into places that can lead us into very dark places and when you cut, you are coping to the best you know how. But there are different, better ways to cope with everyday stresses.", "There is?", "There is honey, there is. I know you may have a hard time seeing this, but you are truly a very strong young lady. I can tell you have so much of your father's strong ness and not wanting to give up.", "I don't think I do Mom, I think it made me realize that I have gotten it more from you since you can relate and you've been through it all like me.".
"I feel like I should be saying this to you Mom...I am so sorry for everything that I have caused and not being the perfect daughter that you've always have wanted.", "Honey, I never have wanted a perfect daughter anyway. I wanted you to be mine always.", "You mean that Mom?", "Yes I mean that, I don't expect you to be perfect. That would be too boring for me honestly. I like you for who you are". Gracelyn looked at her mother and gave her a small smile and says "I have a feeling we might have a lot more in common than I originally had thought", "We do don't we? Well you know us McBride women are fighters and aren't easy to be taken down by.".
"I couldn't believe you've been cutting for years Mom. I don't think I could do that for as long as you did", "I did and believe me, it was one of the hardest things I ever had to go through especially having Depression and Anxiety being combined with it as well. When did you end up doing it?", "A few months ago...I still don't know why...", "Why you have done it?", "Yeah...stupid of me", "No Gracelyn, remember it's a coping mechanism. I'm very grateful that you have Dr. Branson helping you get through this.", "Yeah, me too Mom. I guess I'll still have to go see him again don't I?", "Absolutely, I've went through it too and this will help you greatly. Just always remember that it's their job to help you and they want to help you because they care". "Is it bad that I don't want to give up hurting myself?", "No it isn't at all, when you've been so attached to it for quite some time, it's never easy to give up for two seconds. This is going to be taking a lot of time, but you will be chasing the sun instead of being in the dark sweetie and I guarantee it.".
Gracelyn nods as she has finally understood her mother for the first time in a long time. For Karissa, there was a sigh of relief but when she had least expected it, she was embraced with a warm hug from her own daughter. This had brought tears to her eyes while her own Gracelyn does the same with her eyes closed. "I love you Mommy." she whispers.