In the Year of the Cat (Queen or Freddie Mercury Fanfic)

Birdman's Eye View: It's About Faith (Updated)

"It's complicated, all right?" she whispers.

I stand there awkwardly a moment, then I nod. "If you need a minute, I can leave-"

"You don't have to, it's fine, I'm the one trespassing anyway. I guess that's just what I do." She chuckles sadly. "I don't mean to trespass, I just keep winding up in the middle of everything. What for?"

I shrug, then come closer. "You're not, uh, trespassing, Freddie was just worried about you, that's why I'm here."

"Worried? Why?"

"He didn't know where you went."

Julia half-smiles. "He's funny," is all she says, speaking more to herself than to me. "What earns me his attention?"

I blink. "Well- you're nice. And pretty. And a good friend."

"But so is Mar- oh, God!" she exclaims. "It just doesn't stop!"

Now there's tears in her throat. I'm clearly not helping. I think of sending Freddie in to calm her down, but I don't know if he'll make it better or worse.

Robert stirs in his crib. "Dad-deee...." he murmurs sleepily.

"Oh, no, I woke him," she whispers. "I'm sorry..."

"It's quite all right," I say, leaning over and patting the boy's head. "Come say hello."

After a minute, Julia stands up, walks over and looks in at him. Right away she smiles, but it's that pale smile from two nights ago. The light from the hall is just enough so she can see his groggy face. Already he's falling back to sleep.

"He's so cute," she coos. "Hi there, Robert. Oh, I love his curls, he must get those from you."

"I don't know about that," I mutter, feeling my face heat up. "I think he looks more like his mum."

"Maybe, but he's definitely got your mouth."

I look at her. "What does that mean?"

"That you have a nice mouth, and this kid is lucky to have it," she pops back softly. "What did you think I meant?"

I just smile. I'll be damned. God made two of them.

"He's getting so big so fast. I already can't wait till the next one arrives," I whisper. Suddenly I have an idea. "Hey, do you know what it'll be?"

"What?"

"Is it going to be a boy or a girl? Do you know?"

"Actually," she muses, "I believe I do."

"Well?"

"John, you don't want me to spoil the surprise, do you?" she chides me. "I've put my fingers in enough pies the past two weeks. That needs to unfold in its proper time."

"Oh, very well," I sigh. "You'd do it for Freddie, though."

Julia kind of chuckles and shrugs. But she doesn't deny it. Her eyes study Robert quietly for the next few seconds, and then she whispers, "John?"

"Hm?"

She pauses. "Have you ever had to make a really hard choice, one you knew would define the course of the rest of your life?"

"Well- I mean, we all do at some point, right?"

Julia nods, brows knitting a bit. That's not the answer she was hoping for, so she goes on. "I mean- let me put it like this. Let's say, you get stranded in some foreign country, miles and miles from home. And... in the meantime, you meet a girl from this country, and you fall madly in love with her, and she with you- but she has a reputation for being a man-eater. And, uh, every day you spend near her, there's some kind of reminder that she will not maintain romantic relationships for very long.