Catnip Crazy

Lance should have known that Keith was up to no good when he gave such an unsuspicious looking plant to Lance with the most wicked grin he's ever seen. The only explanation he got when he asked was that "it was catnip" and it " would make Lance really relaxed, don't worry."

It seemed that Shiro and him had very different definitions of relaxed.

(Oh, who was he kidding. The other cat hybrid was lying straight through his teeth.)

Now, Keith was stuck with a very wiggly, very whiny Lance. He watched with a slightly worried expression as the brunet squirmed on his back, ears flattened against his head and tail curling in on itself. He was panting loudly and complaining about being too hot, clawing at the clothes that covered him. Keith silently wondered if Shiro poisoned him. 

The only way to find out was to call Hunk. So that's what he did. As the phone rang, Keith would pace slightly, eyes never leaving Lance.

"Hello?"

"Hunk, I think Shiro poisoned Lance." There was loud laughter— no , cackling in the background before it was muffled. He heard Hunk hush Pidge before responding to him.

"Now, why would you say that?"

"He's been acting weird ever since Shiro and Pidge gave him that... 'catnip'," said Keith, disdain obvious. "He won't stop squirming an—Now he's stripping his clothes."

There was a drawn out sigh. "Keith, I can assure you that he's not poisoned. Catnip... is like an aphrodisiac to cat hybrids," explained Hunk. A moment of silence passed as Keith stared at Lance, who was now fully naked. Everything clicked.

"He's horny," said Keith simply. Hunk hummed an affirmative. Soon the calm passed and the storm hit.

"What am I supposed to do?! How long does this usually last? Is he going to be okay?" Questions were spilling out of his mouth faster than he could register.

"Keith, Keith," interrupted Hunk, stopping his rapid questioning. "He'll be fine. The catnip will wear off in... about half an hour, probably. It really depends how immune Lance is. Is this his first time with catnip?"

"Yes."

"...Okay, so it might take a bit longer," reasoned Hunk.

"Is there anyway to make him feel better faster?" questioned Keith. He wasn't sure how much longer he could watch Lance shifting on the floor naked. Averting his eyes, he waited for Hunk's response.

"Well, there is, uh, one way..."

"What is it?" asked Keith cautiously. He didn't like the hesitant tone Hunk was using. He could already picture the nervous way he rubs the back of his neck.

"You've got to, well do the doooo!!!" shouted Pidge from somewhere far on the other line. The voice sounded distant. "Pidge, language!" was hissed right after and Keith could practically feel the unapologetic way Pidge would give a a shrug of the shoulders. A long groan, and then Hunk was talking again, saying, "Sorry 'bout that, but yeah... That's how you can help him."

How did Keith's life come to this?

"Okay, uh, thanks, Hunk. I'll... I'll keep you updated on his condition."

"No problem, man," said Hunk. "Pidge, I fucking swear, one of these days —" The call ended.

Now it was just Keith and his very horny cat hybrid.