The four lettered word (LOVE)

Prologue

PROLOGUE:

It's a Saturday night.

My friends have gone to the movies and tried to make me go with them but I refused as usual with some lame excuse. They didn't buy it, but they didn't compel me either as they know so well, how much of a stubborn son of a bitch I can be, at times. So here I am sitting in the balcony of my apartment at the centre of Chennai and overlooking the city and its tall buildings and busy streets. There seems to be lot of activities going on tonight, people moving back and forth across the streets, doing whatever they do during their weekends like partying with friends or family reunions or celebrating their success over their achievements or even making wedding plans. There may even be some happy couples who would stay in just happy to enjoy each other's company. Just the thought of that makes an unknown ache to spread through my chest. I would never admit it is my heart because the things I have done in the recent past has made me firmly believe that I don't have one. I can't talk with someone about those incidents. Call it pride or fear of being judged or whatever it may be. I have never been someone who would discuss his problems with other persons and I am not looking forward to become one now. I have read somewhere that writing down your problems and grieves would reduce the burden in your heart. So I have decided to write down everything that has happened in the past five years of my life.

I don't know where to start. What should I write?

How could I explain the things that had happened in my life?

How could simple words express my love for her?

Would you believe if I said it all started with blood..... literally.

Maybe it was a sign saying that I would experience only pain thereafter. Or maybe I would be seeing more of that in my life soon. Whatever it is, I can't deny the fact that it was the day my life took a turn.