Heroes (On Hold)

Chapter 5: A Walk on the Dark Side

"I don't have one," she replied. I was surprised- who wouldn't be when someone stated that they deserved to be murdered?- but didn't let it show. My face was carved from stone, unmoving and cold. "I don't have a single reason why you shouldn't kill me right here and now. I bullied you, attacked you, and sold you out to the man who killed your family. If our roles were switched, you wouldn't have even been given a chance to explain."

"Good," I replied, eyes flashing. "At least I won't have to pretend I'm considering letting you live."

She swallowed with some difficulty, then said quietly, "If it makes any difference, I regret all of it. I was horrible- and not just to you, not just last year. I did it to Anita, too, and I know Addison was terrified of falling out of my good graces... I would give anything to undo it, but that's not in the cards for me."

I almost set her down at that point- almost. I probably would have listened to better judgement, if she had tried to talk to me in the field, or in the hallways, or even in the cafeteria; but the place where I watched my parents die because of her? Rage corrupted my judgement to the point where all that was left was the idea of retribution.

The root around her neck tightened again, and again she didn't struggle. My rage shivered- just for a moment, but that was all that was needed. Better judgement kicked back in. If I killed her, what made me any different than the Puppeteer? I couldn't call myself a hero if my idea of justice was cold blooded murder. The roots slid back into the gym floor- which magically repaired itself- and May collapsed to the floor.

"Thank you," she croaked, massaging her neck.

"Don't thank me yet," I snapped, storming up to her. "If you ever endanger the ones I love again, I swear to you, Mayella Savano, that there is not an apology or guilt trip on Earth that will be able to save you, nor any powers or villains. Tread carefully, lest you find yourself facing death again."

She nodded quietly, and I turned to leave. However, standing by the doors was Ms. Wren. "A prudent warning, Ms. Morgans," she stated. "One that we would all be wise to consider." She turned to May. "Ms. Savano, would you give us a moment?"

May nodded again, the scurried out of the room, still massaging her neck.

"Ella. Were you about to kill May?" She asked me, and I knew she already knew the answer.

"Yes," I breathed. "Why didn't you stop me?"

She shrugged sadly. "Because it wasn't my place to do so. If you wanted to kill her, you would've. Besides, I couldn't stop you if I tried." Her eyes turned hard. "I would, however, be forced to fail you." She sat down, cross legged, on the gym floor, then patted the place beside her for me to sit as well. Reluctantly, I did so.

"Do you know how many students have ever failed?" Ms. Wren asked me.

I shook my head. Schools didn't typically talk about their flunk out rates.

"Only one." I was shocked. Only one person had ever failed to become a hero? "I believe you've met, actually. His name was Ethan- you just nearly killed his ex girlfriend."

If I had been shocked before, now I was flabbergasted. "Ethan... failed? That's why he isn't here?"

"Yes. His power barrier broke over the summer- though we never knew how- and he couldn't control it."

"So you failed him?" I asked, dismayed. "Because he couldn't control himself?"

"No," Ms. Wren replied, her voice a mix of remorse and steel, "He failed because he stopped trying to control himself- and because he gave up on trying to be a hero. That is the essence of what we are trying to teach you this year: the hero part of superheroes. With the right training, anyone can become a hero- but only if they want to be, want to do good in the world. One only fails to be a hero when they stop trying to do good." She fixed me with a gaze that held nothing but stark honesty. "If you had chosen to take May's life, you would no longer be able to call yourself a hero. She did not fight you, she wasn't endangering anyone... it would not have been justice, it would have been murder."

"Not endangering anyone? Tell that to the three people who died, because she sold me out! Besides, it's not like I don't have deaths on my conscience already," I argued indignantly. "Ben, my parents: they're dead because of me. How is that any different than this?"

"Well which is it, Ella?" Ms. Wren retorted. "Is it May's fault, or is it yours? You can't have it both ways. You can't say they're dead because of her and then turn around and say they're dead because of you. Choosing that just causes resentment- towards her and towards yourself."

"Whose fault do you think it is, then?" I questioned, frustrated and exasperated.

"I believe that finding fault in the matter at all is a pointless mistake," she answered sagely. "However, if you are so eager to point fingers, I'd direct yours to the man you buried beneath the courtyard, since he is the one who put the knives in their chests."

I flinched at the blatancy of her words. She softened a bit when she saw that, and continued. "I know it hurts, Ella. I lost my two best friends and saw their daughter sink into a depression so deep she wouldn't speak or even move for days. I understand. But blame and guilt? They will only lead you to hatred- and that in turn leads to recklessness and a shallow grave."

A chill ran down my spine, and I could almost feel the truth in them reverberating through the empty gym. And yet, I couldn't accept them. What had happened... it wasn't the sort of thing someone just let go of. That day would be ingrained into my mind for all time. I knew that I would always blame myself, for not saving them, for not thinking to heal them, just like I knew I would always blame May for selling me out, for selling Ben out. No matter how right she was, some things were more important than closure- things like retribution.

"Do you understand me Ella?" She called me back.

"Yes." I just didn't agree with her. "I need to get back to Anita and Lizzy. They'll probably be missing me," I excused myself, standing up and striding towards the door.

"Please, just don't do anything foolish," she called after me.

But I was already gone.

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Hey guys! Next chapter for you!

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Emily