Discovering Shadows (Completed)

Terrorized

It's because I am hiding that I don't see Dana approaching. I don't like her very much. Mark don't either.

Dana is the ten-year-old who is in charge of making sure I stay out of trouble. She tells me stories of how The Headmistress can change into scary monsters and how she will choose certain kids when the orphanage gets full and she eats them. Dana has two friends with her all the time but they aren't with her right now. They are nicer than her. I think they are only her friends to keep Dana from being mean to them. They always try to help me when Dana isn't around.

Carrie sometimes tells me about the times she lived in another place. When she went to sleep and some boys came into her room. She told me she was scared and hurting but no one would help her. Mark and Mike aren't like those boys they are nice and protect me. I told her they would protect her too but she just smiled at me sadly and said it was too late for her. I don't know what she meant by that but I gave her a hug.

Sarah told me about the time she tried to leave during the night and was chased down by the dogs in the woods. She showed me her scars one night. I don't think I ever want to go into the woods. I don't think I want a dog anymore either. I had been asking Mark for one but I told him I didn't want one anymore because it would scare Sarah. But I was scared too.

It's hard to go to sleep at night now. So many stories and memories. Sometimes it hurts my head. I don't like seeing their stories. I told Mark to make it stop but he said he couldn't. He yelled at me that night. He said I shouldn't ever talk about that. That it isn't what other kids do. I'm different. And that's dangerous. It has to be a secret.

I don't like the way Dana is looking at me. But I listen to what she is saying, "Oh there you are. Good thing you're hiding kid. I hear she getting ready to choose another kid for dinner." Dana smiles like she always smiles at me like she's angry and evil smashed together. I don't want to be like that when I grow up. I want to be like Ms. Maggie or the princess.

Mark told me once that when Dana was six she saw her dad kill her mom and sister and himself but left her alive because they didn't love her enough to take her too. I think that's sad and feel bad if it really happened. But sometimes when Dana is really mean I can see that she's scared and hurting. I don't want to hurt other people when I am scared or hurting.

I try not to be so scared here all the time it's a lot better than the places they tell me about. It's not a white room and I'm not alone all the time. But the kids here are scary and mean and I don't know if what they tell me is true or from the movies they watched. We get to watch TV if we are good but the movie is usually scary and loud. It doesn't bother me that I don't get to pick I never got to watch TV before and sometimes it makes my head hurt to look at the screen so I close my eyes through the most of it. On those nights, Mark just holds my hand and hums softly to me.

Mark is peace.

He always makes me feel calm and safe. I want him to be by me all the time but The Headmistress gets mad if she catches us together.