I Miss Her [Jessie J]

Chapter 20 - The Voice Live Show Two (Up) - 6th May 2017

"It's never too late to turn it back around,
Yeah, I know you can.
Don't bury your demons deep in the ground.
When it all falls down,
The only way is up, up, up
The only way is up."

"It's your love that's strong,
It's the only thing that keeps me holding on,
It's your heart that's weak,
But it's not too weak to bring you back to me."

"It's never too late to turn it back around,
Yeah, I know you can.
Don't bury your demons deep in the ground
When it all falls down
The only way is up, up, up.
The only way is up."

I ended on a soft, held note at the end as I looked into the camera. I looked up to the four chairs. Claude Kelly was filling in for Jess, which was a slight shame because the coaches were missing a woman's touch. They all gave me some valid feedback that generally went along the lines of "you sang that really well but it wasn't challenging enough". I thought their comments were fair but the confirmation of the aim I had for that song was received when Jess text me.
'I needed that. Thank you xx'
It was those simple words that made me feel proud of myself. All I wanted was for Jess to be happy.

Jess called our team after the live show had finished. There were only three of us and Claude, so we all gathered around the iPad.
"You all did so well tonight." Jess praised us, "I'm so proud of you." There was a collective thank you from the three of us before Jess continued, "I just want all of you guys to know that, whatever happens in the results tonight, it's only the beginning. All of you can go so far with this whether you win or not. Never ever give up on what you believe in and fight for what you think is right, don't give in to what you think you deserve because what you think you deserve is something completely different to what you actually do." Everyone smiled at Jess' inspiring words but I just sighed a little. I knew exactly where those words were coming from. "When I'm better we'll all go out and celebrate our talents. I'll put on a concert for all of us." Jess smiled as best as she could.
"That would be lush, Jess." John, a team member, told her and there was a collective mumble of agreement.
"We're all winners here," Jess told us.

Jess voice called me after she ended the video call with the group and I left the room so we could have some privacy. "How do you feel you did?" She asked me, her voice tired from all the speaking she'd done. After the incident, the smallest of activities left Jess drained, physically and emotionally.
"I think it went well, I don't know," I told her, my mind elsewhere.
"What does that mean?"
"I don't know." I shrugged, even though she couldn't see me.
"Ems, through the TV it sounded amazing. And you know I don't give out compliments like that unnecessarily."
"I know, I know." I sighed. "I'm just worried."
"About what? There's no way on Earth you're leaving the competition tonight."
"No not that," I replied, I wasn't that bothered about the competition anymore, but I wasn't going to tell Jess that.
"Then what?"
"You. I don't want you overdoing it. Even when you're in bed resting you're still checking up on us and you sound exhausted."
"I'm fine." Jess' voice when steely and cold. I just sighed.
"Jess... I'm grateful for what you're doing, honestly. But you need to recover."
"I know..."
"Emma! We're going live in five!" A producer shouted through the door.
"I've gotta go, Jess. I'll speak to you later." I blew a kiss down the phone and hung up.

******

"So that means, the people in the bottom two are, Crystal and Emma. Off you guys go and prepare to sing your song again so the coaches can pick who goes through." I pondered what went wrong as I was handed a microphone at the side of the stage. Maybe I did play it too safe. Crystal was performing first so I watched her performance with Emma Willis. Her vocals were on point. It would've been ridiculous if I knocked someone out who was in it to win it.

I took to the centre of the stage and held the microphone close to my mouth. That was when I had the idea. "Can I just say something?" I asked and looked over to the other Emma.
"Not really, we don't have a lot of time."
"I won't be long." I smiled over at her. I could imagine the producers going crazy in her ear trying to make her get me to shut up, but I started before she could say another word. "I just want to thank everyone who's allowed me to have this opportunity." I looked around the room before into the camera I could see zooming onto my face. "Thank you for being able to put those rumours aside and accepting the new me."
Don't do this. Clair warned me as she realised what I was doing. But I had to do it. It didn't feel right to continue in the competition.
"I'm going to drop out of the competition. I've had a wonderful experience, but, if I'm being honest, I've got what I came for." I looked up to Danny with a soft smile, hoping he understood.
"Are you sure?" Emma Willis asked me.
"I am. I much prefer being in the studio producing these songs than singing them. I've really enjoyed my time here though."
"Well that's it then. Crystal is through to the next live show and Emma is unfortunately going home."

******

I arrived back at home an hour later. I let out a sigh of relief as I sat on the sofa. I didn't need to get up in the morning to have a team meeting.
"You were so good tonight, Emma." Rose spoke softly as she brought me a cup of tea.
"Thank you, Mum." I smiled as I wrapped my hands around my mug.
"Jess  wants to have a word with you, though."
"I did it for her. I left for her. I want things to be how they used to be." I explained.
"I know, darling. Jess will be okay with it... eventually."

I finished my perfect cup of tea and ran upstairs to Jess' room. Jess appeared to be sleeping so I quietly undressed and slipped into bed with her. I felt her body tense beside me. I let out a soft sigh. "It's me, Jess. It's Emma."
"Emma?" She turned to face me with a smile across her sleepy face.
"That's me." I smiled.
"Oh, no. I'm annoyed at you." She closed her eyes, still facing me.
"Jess... it was for the best. I didn't want to win. The others deserved it so much more than I did."
"You really auditioned just so we could be friends again?"
"I auditioned because I knew you would be there. I stalked your Instagram and I wanted to see if you were actually happy... Even though I was angry and heartbroken in that audition... I still cared about you. I still do. You mean way too much to me."
"Thank you." Jess whispered. "I do understand, Ems. It's just you're so talented. You deserve it."
"I just want to be a writer and a producer. Specifically yours." I winked to lighten the mood and Jess smiled.
"Come on, let's get some sleep." Jess mumbled as she snuggled into me, already basically asleep.
"Sweet dreams, Jess." I wrapped my arms around her small body and let myself fall in the world of dreams.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: finally an update! I'm in the middle of exams right now but my plan is to just write write write when they're done :D

I'm also super excited for album 4 :D

Thanks for reading, commenting and voting!

Emma xx