Chapter 44

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Hands grab and pull, hearts hammer loudly against chests, incoherent murmurs leave mouths, eyes shut with focus on touch, and we are a tangle of emotions.

I don't want to say fireworks because that's what everyone describes this kind of thing with.

And we are not everyone.

We are not those hormonal teens that make out just for fun. There's something more here. I don't think the way I feel can be compared to anything adolescent.

Derek is gentle yet merciless with the way his lips move with mine. It is beyond anything I could have imagined, and it is causing me to forget the principle of breathing. Derek's mouth latches onto mine before I have the chance to exhale even though I really need the oxygen for my burning lungs.

He pulls me upright to where I'm pretty much sitting on his lap. Derek's hands stay caressing my neck while mine rest on his warm chest. The rapid pulse of his heart is beneath my palms and confirms that he doesn't want to stop kissing either. My need for even more closeness causes me to adjust and move my left leg across to where I'm comfortably straddling him. My red dress accidently rises up my thighs, but I don't make any attempt to fix it. The contact leads me to feel a warmness gather in my lower abdomen that I've never felt before.

Without thinking I pull off my denim jacket, and the tiny straps of my dress hang off my shoulders.

The growing tingles I get make me claw at Derek's shirt until I successfully have the fabric in my hands. It's going to be a whole size bigger after so much of my tugging, when we stop. If we ever stop.

This is the very first kiss we've ever shared but we're moving like our lips are so familiar to each other. Like we've done this before.

There isn't any awkward fumbling and I'm truly grateful for that. And I'm also so grateful for what a great kisser Derek is.

Like DAYUM BOI!!

He knows what he's doing.

Maybe he has a lot of prior experience.

Shh! Don't ruin this for me!

Derek breaks away but before I verbalize my complaint, he presses his forehead against mine and levels his breathing.

I try to do the same but it ends up sounding like I'm having an asthma attack.

Then I really think I'm going to have an asthma attack when his hands loop around my waist.

Slick.

He peeks at me and even after what we've been doing I manage to not be able to look at him right in the eyes.

Derek lets out a deep laugh that makes me want to go back to minimal breathing activities.

He sweetly kisses my forehead and pulls me in, rubbing my back as we hug. My head rests on his shoulder like a child-

Oooh daddy!

Ewww! Stop it!

Anyway, I feel a weird safe stillness despite the rush of it all. Weirdly I'm really liking being just held.

Jordan never wanted to just hug, which was fine with me, but this is nice.

No, this is better.

Way better.

"I've had the biggest crush on you," he says.

Had?

"What do you mean?" He's only known me for a couple months. Sure we've been at the same school, but then what is he trying to say?

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