Chapter 10: Study Buddy

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Edge avoids me all weekend. We both shut ourselves in our rooms. We eat our meals separately. I don't want it to be like this. We rarely have full conversations, but I'm lonely. I read my borrowed textbooks and complete my assignments. Not correctly. But I finish them.

When I get back to school, every paper handed back to me is covered in red. Every quiz that I take is handed in half-completed. By Wednesday, I'm beginning to feel as if I'm drowning. Edge still isn't talking to me. I stop eating breakfast in the morning. I stop eating lunch at school.

"Aren't you gonna eat anything?" Nate asks me, looking concerned. I shrug. "Hunter, you need to eat." I shake my head like a stubborn toddler. Nate sighs and goes back to eating. I go back to trying to figure out homework.

I pass through the rest of the day in a haze, just going through motions, not paying attention to anything.

The gossip has moved on from me and Edge. They barely stare and barely gossip. (Well, at least about me.) Apparently, a pair of Companions had been called in on an emergency Mission on Monday. They didn't even have to compete for their spot. Some people are outraged that they didn't get a chance to compete. But I couldn't care less.

I sit with Oliver on the bus like I've been doing for the past few days. I get off without a word. I enter the house without a word. I slip into my room and up to the attic without a word. I take out my books, lay my homework out, then stare at my Calculus problems until my vision blurs. And once that happens, the first tear falls from my eye and slides down my cheek.

Soon, I'm bawling. Shoving my books out of the way, I lean my arms on the desk and cradle my head in my hands, and my tears drop down onto the old, worn wood. I start making those ugly, gasping noises which then turn into sputtering and coughing. I can't control myself. My shoulders are shaking uncontrollably. I'm coughing hard, then gasping air, just to cough again.

"Hunter?" I barely hear it over sounds of me pitying myself. It's becoming too much. Everything is just too much.

"Hunter!" Footsteps hurry across the floor, and I am wrapped in strong arms, which pull me backwards, off the chair, and onto the floor. Edge pulls me against him, resting his chin on my left shoulder. I'm still sobbing, but I find myself curling into him.

"Shhhh...it's fine. You're fine. It'll be okay," he murmurs softly into my ear. I cry even harder, if that's at all possible. Edge persists in his efforts to calm me down. He pushes the side of my head to his chest. I can't help myself. I sob into him. He hugs me even tighter. I can feel him start to play with my hair. The constant thudding of his heart in his chest begins to calm me down. We sit like that for a couple more minutes.

"You good?" Edge asks. I nod. But neither of us get up. Neither of us want to. "What happened?"

"I'm not gonna be able to get through this school year," I whisper.

"Who's giving you a hard time?"

"Not so much who as what." My voice sounds muffled and whiny. I hate being this helpless. But sometimes I just can't help but give in. "I can't do any of this work. I don't understand what's going on."

There's a moment of quiet in the attic. Again, I listen Edge's heart beating. His chest rises and falls as he breathes, almost putting me to sleep. I don't think I've been so close to anyone for a really, extremely long time. It's different. I feel safe and vulnerable at the same time. I can't tell if I like it or not.

"You know I used to be an Intelligent, right?" Edge asks. I nod. "I'm sure I could help you."

"Seriously? You're offering to help after you've been completely ignoring me for that past few days?"

"Hunter, I am so, so sorry," I feel him shaking his head, his words pouring out slowly, as if he's actually putting thought into what he's saying. Which he probably is. "I've been taking...advantage of how...quickly you forgive me when I've been a, well, shitty Companion. But I just want you to know that I'll try my best to help you if you need it."

There's a pause. I realize how much that must've taken for Edge to apologize to me. He's done it a few times already, but I think this is the first time I think he really, really meant it. I mean, I know he meant it when he apologized the other times. But this time, I can feel his heart speeding up like he's nervous about how I might react. And maybe that's wishful thinking, but that's how I interpret it. And, let's face it. I can never not forgive Edge.

"Edge, I forgive you."

"You shouldn't."

"I know." I sigh. "But it gets lonely when you don't wanna talk to me. Even though you never talk to me much anyways."

"Wait...I thought you didn't want to talk to me."

"Edge, I'm a girl. If we're used to being around someone, we can't avoid them for more than, like, two days without driving ourselves practically insane." Edge laughs. I do too. It feels nice. Edge lets go of me, and I sit up and face him. There's a wet patch on his gray shirt, and I feel immediately mortified. Edge notices my pointed stare.

"Sorry about that," I say, faking nonchalance as best as I know how. Edge doesn't respond, so I look at his face. He's smiling. He's laughing at me. Edge shrugs. No wait. He's not. Edge jerks his head towards my desk.

"Come on. Let's get started."

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"Think, Hunter! You know this. You just did, like, seven of the same kinds of problems."

"Edge, it's three in the morning and there's class tomorrow," I whine. I'm exhausted. I'm beyond exhausted. I'm starting to understand my work. Edge is good at explaining, but he is most definitely lacking in the patience department.

"You know you don't have to go to class everyday, right?"

"Yeah, but I want to be in good standing because this is the last week we get deliveries and I get my ID next week," I explain, rubbing the bridge of my nose.

"Hunter. You're failing your classes anyway. One missed day so you can catch up isn't gonna hurt you."

I sigh. "You're right." I begin to finish the problem.

"I always am."

"Except for when you're not."

"And even then..."

I box my final answer, and look at Edge for his approval. As he checks over my work, I notice how his bruised eye has faded into a mix of green and yellow. He finishes and nods, and I am filled with pride.

"Can I go to bed, now?" I ask.

"Fine. Go."

And I do.

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A/N: Goodness me, I am sooo bad at author's notes...I guess I'll just keep it super short and sweet. Here goes...

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