buttons ★ meanie

0

(guys imagine both scenes when you read this.)

Hi.

I bet when you see this, it means you already received the letter. I guess my brother was the one who helped me to send this to you. i have the best brother for life. i never regret to ask my parents to get me a brother because i was so lonely at home but i did not expect to have you in my life. you came into my life for no reason. 

oh... by the way can you ignore the blood stains on the paper?

I didn't know why in a sudden I started to nose bleeding but I guess it is Mr Cancer want to see you and say hello to you. 

I would like to farewell with you nicely like maybe have an amazing farewell ceremony  for the two of us but I can't. I don't want you to be sad.

it is leukemia.

The surgery might be only 20% successful. so which means if I go for surgery, I have 20% to survive.

However if I don't go for it... I would die.

i have no friends because i always look pale.

everyone called me the ghost kid. everyone just avoid me when they saw me. some people just makes fun of me.

i don't trust friendship at all.

till you became my neighbour.

you were the first person i fight with. you're freaking annoying and i don't want to talk to anyone. you always come to my room and banged into my room for no reason. you always disturb me. don't you felt shameful? no wonder you don't feel hurt when i punched you and pushed you away. however, i am so sorry bout it. i know it's dumb and hurtful actually but you didn't bother but continue to be my friend. whenever we fight you barely fight back because you know that when you fight back like just a minor push, i would have just fly to the universe. 

that was the time you became my friend. you were the first person i played with. i finally have my first friend.

you were the first person i slept with as you always come to my house and play and ended up sleeping on my bed. i remembered i pushed you off the bed to wake you up as your mum is calling you home to take dinner.

that was the time you invited me to your house. you were the first person i eat with. i have dinner over your place. 

i am a coward and i don't like to talk because i was so naive that i thought i will spread my cancer virus by just talking but actually i was wrong. cancer virus won't spread out from my body but everywhere in my body.

i am a weakie and my brain is not as good as you but you non stop helping out with my studies so that i can stay in the same class as you.

you were the first person i studied with. i was supposed to do home school because i was too weak but my dad wanted to give me an ordinary life so he persuaded my mum to let him send me to school. like the real school. doctor joined the persuade too and he said sports can let me heal faster. The doctor lied. I didn't heal but gone worse.

you were the first person i trust other than my family. because you didn't bully me in school but on the other hand, you always stand out and protect me. no matter what happened, you will choose to help me and trust me. 

you were the first person i stayed with in Seoul Sports School. I like this roommate so much but soon i might need to give up.

you were the first person i worked with in 7 Eleven convenience store to pay for our room rental. you always helped me carry those heavy stuffs, doing those cleaning and arranging stuffs on to the shelves and fridges. you left me at the counter alone to be the cashier. 

i wasn't hurtful to get reject because i know i can't give her happy life although we date. i wasn't mad at you because she likes you more than me. it wasn't a reject but a break up. however, it looks like a rejection more than a break up and i asked her to confess her love to you. you didn't know we date for exactly one week right? she doesn't like me as much as she loves you.

please don't reject her and loves her more. i want someone to at least love her. 

i am not mad because you beat me but do you know that my team actually fight with each other because they blame each other over the results that our team lose in the competition.

mingyu thank you for everything. I know I can't pay you back anything.

lastly I would like to say I am sorry to leave you alone.

Thanks for being in my life.

Sorry for getting out your life.

Farewell, my best buddy.

~Wonwoo

20170206

~THE END

[I simply converted a little story of my life into this book. however... what is really bothering me now really give me nightmares. i would want to open it to someone but i don't want to burden anyone because they made me felt like im a dumbass and im a burden and gain lil replies. what is the point i open myself and talk to people in the world. hahahaha maybe what my friend said it's right. i don't deserve any appreciation and any friend. now who to trust... i have no idea. i should have just be alone and throw my phone into the sea and live in the jungle. sorry for the little rant and this is the end of buttons. thanks for supporting buttons.]