Accepting Love(Lesbian Story)

To The People Who Care

I have a question to ask.

To the people who care and read my work on Wattpad. Am I really worth a follow? Vote or comment? Do the stuff I write entertain you?

Right now, I am 20 years old, soon to be 21. I haven't made much progress in college except complete all my English classes but nothing with Math. I have the desire to change and try to improve myself, but the motivation just disappears and, I just get scare to fail and make myself a complete fool of myself.

I don't know what to do as a career honestly. My fear is pulling me back, along with procrastination. I am tired of it, I am tired of not wanting to write, I am tired of comparing myself with other writers on this site. My problem with comparing other peoples success is stupid and keeping me from what I want do...

I don't understand really.

Do you even like what I put on here? Do I even take you from reality and make you feel like your watching a movie or TV show?

I feel like I should give up on writing and find something else. But the thing is, I don't want stop writing. I enjoy it, I want make it as a career. New ideas are coming and going, and I just watch them come and leave me.

I hate my job. I work for 12 hours for 3 or 4 days every week, depending on the schedule. I don't want spend my time, counting the hours down and wait for the next break to come. I literally do that every time I go work. I plan on quitting this summer. But then I don't know where to work, because I'm scared to make mistakes...

Family members ask me about college and wonder why I took a year off of school. I avoid the question because I'm scared of them. They will wonder why am I even going to school. Last semester I broke down in the library. Two reasons why I broke down, one for stress and the other is something I really don't want mention. I told two of my very close friends about it. One saw me almost crying, while the other that I cherish as a sister. I swear, I feel like a bad friend because I take advantage of her so much, which its no fair.

Anyway back to me and the library thing. I cry silently, or at least held it in as much as I can. I can recall me having pains in my chest. I even spent a week crying nonstop. Did my family notice? Nope! Every time I had shower, I just broke out in tears. When I was alone, I cry while covering my mouth and jab my teeth through the skin. I spent the whole week crying and wanting it to stop. I told my sisters about it, but it didn't seem to be worth it.

I keep things from my family because they think I make stuff up for attention. I bottle a lot of my problems up, and its unhealthy I know.

And I know I'm getting off topic now. Sorry.

Its February 1, 2017 and my resolution for this year is to be happy and enjoy my life. I want writing to become my job. I want be an author, maybe a New York's Best Seller Author? Might be possible for me. I also want redo my YouTube channel and be a screenwriter. Doing skits would help me and show what I can do in the entertainment world. I want do some diversity and writing that involves with the LGBTQ+ community. I want try and do stuff out of my writing comfort zone and learn about it. I also want write and upload o here and my Fanfiction page. I'm going throw away the schedule and upload as much as I can. I want grow and make a community and show you my ideas.

So that's what you'll be getting from me for now.

2017 Goal: Be happy and upload my content on Wattpad and Fanfiction. I would love the support and feedback if you think I'm worth it.

Thank you.