Scattered (EDITING)

Kabanata 1

"Jack Daniels"- the bartender left after she heard what I said.

Sitting at this place and trying to ease the pain in my soul. This is harder than the paper works. The scenes can't stopping playing on my mind. Damn!

Tanging mga halak-halakan at tunog ng mga kubyertos ang aking naririnig. Pawang walang mga problema at tanging saya lamang meron sila.

Baka mamaya pa kakanta yung madalas kumanta dito sa restobar. Sumilip ako sa babaeng kaharap ko. Ngiti sa kanyang mukha ang sumalubong sakin. Binigyan niya ako ng inorder ko kanina lang at sumulyap sa isang gilid kung saan niya nilalagay ang mga order ng alak na binibigay ng waiter.

Isa sa dahilan kung bakit lagi ako dito nainom ay dahil tahimik at halos lahat ng alak na pinagbebenta nila ay sarling gawa. Sa kanila lamang at sa ibang bansa mayroon ang mga di kilalang lasa ng alak.

Should I invest my money here?

"How was the party? Too bad I never got the chance to congratulate the both of you."

She handed the liquor to her another customer and I glare at her. How was the party? Ano nga ba ang nangyari? Muli kong tinungga ang binigay niyang alak at humingi pa ng panibago. Kung nagtrabaho na lang ba ako ngayon mas maiibsan ba ang sakit na ito?

I need to get her out of my life, same as what she did to me. Let's be fair

"Tessa must be very happy. I can't wait to hear ringing bells?"- she added while entertaining her other customers.

I felt the burning sensation of the alcohol. This felt so good! Really good! I close my eyes and an image formed in my mind. Tessa. She's smiling at me. She got the best, beautiful and perfect face. I love everything about her especially her angelic voice--- I opened my eyes and tried to forget about her. She kept ruining my inner and outer piece. This is not good. Everything about her is not good.

"Finally Xander you're man enough for asking tessa's hand in marriage " may bahid ng sakit ko siyang tinitigan. 

You know nothing. 

It stopped me. It stopped me from planning my future with her. It stopped me from my hilarious mind thinking that she'll be back on me, thinking that she'll plead to make her mine again.

"I'm sorry alexander but I don't love you anymore. You'll find other else better than me"  her words are running in my mind. Stabbing my heart a million times no-a billion times. She doesn't want to marry me. fuck! What about the past years we've been inlove? Will she threw it away easily? Will she be happy with her decision?

Putangina!

Wala naman bisa ang alak na ito! Mas lalo ko lamang naaalala ang mga nangyari.

"Really Claire?" I smirked at her and not removing my eyes from her hazelnut brown eyes. She seems so confused. Dapat lang! Ganyan kayong magkaibigan, dapat sa inyo nililito, sinasaktan!

"Man enough to face her rejection" hindi ko maiwasang pumiyok dahil sa sakit na dulot ng aming pinag-uusapan.

I avoid her gazed because I know what will be her reaction. Shocked, disappointed. Tsk! Who would thought that it will end up here. Masakit niya akong tinitigan at hindi na muling nagsalita pa. Ang sakit isipin na sa hinaba-haba ng panahon naming dalawa ay nagawa niya akong talikuran at humanap ng iba.

Am I not enough? When will I be enough? I almost plead her to stay but she keep on insisting that I'll find another woman. The woman I found was you, tessa, only you.