Being Nigerian In A Foreign Country.

Hairstyle.

There are times where I've had to cancel an outing with friends, with the excuse, "I'm not feeling well today" or "I have other plans."  

Well, it's a lie. The truth is, I'm feeing fine but the state of my hair isn't. And yes, I have other plans, plans to get it done, which would take ALL DAY LONG. So I can't go out with you.

Again, soz.

I might come to the pool party the next day though, but just know that I'm not swimming. And if someone by joke throws me in the pool . . . hm . . . someone is gonna get murdered.

The worst part of it is when you have to travel miles to get to your hairdressers. In Nigeria, you can easily find a hairdresser that is suitable for you . . . they're everywhere. The options and plenty, so you can do shakara.

Don't try that here o. 

In England, it's not as easy. You have to search hard to find that GOOD ONE, and before you actually find that ONE, you might have tried a few crap ones, who would do experiment on your hair. Some Nigerians here, claim to be good hairdressers. Lies. It turns out that they are not as good as they claim to be. Just don't fall for it, if you're new here. They'll leave your hair looking like a mad woman's.

If you're in Nigeria, you can just vex and loosen it, the next day, fix a new one. But here, you just have to manage it, because you cannot afford to pay another £50 or £60 or take a whole day off work just to get it done again. 

Tip 1: You know what's a good idea? To have an 'emergency wig' at home, so when sh*t like this happens, you're sorted. It's a temporary solution to the problem. Then you're not left stranded

Tip 2: When you find that perfect hairdresser, whatever you do, keep, treasure, cherish him/her, because, trust me, you don't want to be going through the stress of looking for another one. That, my dear, might take you a long while.

When you have non-black friends and colleagues and you show up with a new hairstyle, they're mind-blown. The reaction on their faces is exceptional lol. They'll be like "Oh my gosh your hair is amazing. It's beautiful. Wow!"

"Why thank you, thank you." *Grins widely whilst my head swells from the compliments*

These are questions you'll get asked.

Can I touch your hair? "Well, yes, you can touch it, since you asked. But please don't just think you have access to touching my hair every time you feel like it, because I might be wearing a wig one day and you'll go and do oversabi and touch my hair and the wig falls of . . . eh! It won't funny o.

I understand your curiosity, but for the love of Christ, just ask, okay? In fact, don't touch it sef. My hair is not an experiment. Except you're my hair stylist . . .

Is that your real hair? You ever heard of that thing called extension? Yeah? Okay.

So, if my hair is in a short bob braids, (colour blue and purple) one day and another day I have it down in long dreadlocks (grey and black), don't come and be asking me rubbish questions. It's an extension. I don't know how many times I've had to explain to someone saying, "Oh this isn't my natural hair." And most response I get is this, "So, is it like fake?" or worse, "Is it a horse's hair?"

Mtcchheeeewwwww!

No! It's not fake. Neither is it from a horse, you dum dum. It's an extension added to my natural hair. You know, like some of you have on sometimes. (or it might be a wig, again, depending on the situation lol)

Even Beyoncé and all these other famous celebrities use extension and wear wigs, so shush you mouth and don't judge.

Can you wash your hair? "Can I wash my hair?" "Can I wash my hair?"

Are you taking a piss right now.

Of course I can wash my hair. Why wouldn't I be able to? Okay, I might not be able to wash it everyday or every other day like you do. It's not because I'm dirty or I don't want to, but it's because of the texture of my hair. Fact is, black hair, thrives on oils, so washing it everyday, means removing the oils and it isn't really doing any good to it.

Where oil is an adversary to Caucasian hair, it actually does us a lot of good, so much that we actually make it a daily routine of oiling our scalps . . . How romantic.

Did you make it yourself? I wish I was that clever. But no, I didn't. Someone did them for me. Although some people make their hair themselves (I seriously don't know how they do it. Big thumbs up to them). 

How long did it take you to do that? I like looking at the faces of people when I tell them it took abut 6 or 7 hours to get my braids done. "Oh my God. I wouldn't be able to sit that long."

Of course you wouldn't be able to because you don't have to. We're are used to it. Like my mum always say, "fashion is painful."

Just so you all know, it's all love here, okay? I'm not pointing fingers or anything like that. Like i mentioned before, these are all from experience.  They're not meant to upset anyone. That's not my intention. This is just educating people about other cultures and places and how different it is from yours. We're all learning from each other, yeah?  Okay?

OKAY, we good.

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