Killing Sam Winchester (Sam Winchester FANFIC)

Chapter 14 - Mistakes

I shouldn't be falling in love with Sam Winchester. He's supposed to be the villain in all this, a vile creature only meant for destruction but everything went haywire when I meet them. It's like I finally woke up to the world around me, I finally felt everything. I understood everything.

I just didn't know what to do with it.

I pace the kitchen back and forth my mind working overtime since I couldn't sleep. A large pale moon takes up most of the sky, shedding light in the silent house. I lean against the counter. My palms are pressed against the cool marble.

What was I going to do?

I've spent a week in Bobby's house, examining and studying everything that I could about their world. My head now spins with knowledge that now even a normal human being couldn't process. I file through famous demons, shifters, badluck objects and even the big king: Lucifer.

I'm not pleased to see him. He's my power source and bringing him back would be godawful. I even read up on some of the angels, knowing how to kill them since I don't trust Castiel yet. I lean my head against the cabinet, shutting my eyes and taking a deep breath. 

I remember back at the cars, where Sam and I kissed. I regreted it because it only brought more complications into this bundle of chaos.

What about Reba? What was I going to say to her? Oops I fell in love with the victim.

This brought up another curious question. Does Reba know what I am? The people, the thousands of them on my wall back at the apartement, were they innocent as well? I chew my bottom lips suddenly feeling like I was the criminel. I clench the counters between tight fingers wandering if I could teleport away from this. I don't think I could, not yet anyways.

Bring Lucifer's out of the question. He nearly devastated everything last time and sending a chain of savages across the earth. I can still feel Sam's regret for that. I can see the small twitch in his jaw when I even mention the name. Bobby told me all about it. About how he accidentally sent the world into chaos, how the world plunged into darkness for many months. 

Tomorrow, I will be joining Sam and Dean on a hunt. Bobby got me a nice looking pistol. I wanted to stay classic with a small angular revolver with twelve bullets in total. If all else fails, might as well use myself to defend them. 

I open my eyes and I see Sam leaning against the doorframe, his chin tilted slightly to the side as he examines me. He gives me the heebee-jeebus sometimes. "You should be sleeping."

"You should too." Sam counters. His face stays plain, his eyes droopy but his jaw squared in defense. I glance down to what he's wearing. PJ pants take up his waist but everything up is bare, rough and taut. I hold back my nasty thoughts and meet his cool gaze.

"Couldn't sleep anyways. Thought I'd come and get some water." Our voices seem amplified in the chantey. But our conversations don't last long. It never did after the kiss. We couldn't tell Dean nor Bobby because he might as well flip out. I was a monster in his eyes. A weapon of mass destructions but Sam's able to surpass these distasteful personnalities and my snarky reponse. He knows who's the real enemy is.

But sometimes...

"What are you thinking about?" Sam softly kicks himself off the doorframe and slowly makes his way over to me. In moments, he stand before me. In all his glory. Long hair bristled from long nights and early mornings, even a small stubble forming on his chin from the lack of shaving over the days.

I didn't even get time to answer instead he pushes himself onto me. Lips a lot more hungry than our last kiss. He parts my lips by pulling my hips to his in a surprise and locking our lips together. Our tongues dance together, passionated and heated in seconds. I slip my hand around his neck and tangle my fingers in his hair. 

His taste fills my mouth, his whole entire body responding with mine with such ease it made my heart rap against my ribcage and flutter in my chest. Sam grasps my waist. He hauls me atop the counter, sits me down so my legs dangle and places his body between my open legs.

Sam hands move to my thigh, his hand cupping my legs as his mouth worked miracles. My head spun but I let him get everything out of his system. His love that was rammed deep in his body, buried in lies, betrayal and pain. He needed this release, somebody that he can play with and let that steam slowly blow. 

We stay like this, it seems like ages until he pulls back. He rests his forehead against my own. Our breaths are rapid. Our air frolics together our eyes locked to one another. I can see upclose all the things he's hiding from his brother. Everything down to the last drop. I can see all the fights that wore him down and all the fights that he had to push through. And all the fights that he lost.

I know what he wants to do next. Bringing me up to his bedroom and show me what he can do. To release himself from all this stress but I couldn't risk anything more. If Reba knew about this, she would shun me. He starts to wrap his arms to hoist me up to the bed but I softly place a hand on his forearm, feeling the bulging muscles beneath my fingertips.

"I can't." I whisper. I didn't realize my voice would crack until I said it.

He frowns and softly nods. I sense of fiery hate for everything that's going on. That I can't gush everything because I'll have to kill him afterwards. I close my eyes. Take a deep breath and finally begin to pick up the shattered pieces.

"I can't stay here for any longer. I've surpassed my desire of stay and I feel I've even pushed my comfort soon too far." I answer. He leans back a little, but keeps his fingers splayed out over the counter top on both sides of my legs.

He speaks softly, losing all that anger that I could feel during our kiss. "When we went to New York, you spoke about 'my group killing me'. Does this involve it?"

I don't answer. 

"Delora." Sam urges. The silence expends some more before I answer. "Were they supposed to kill me?"

"No." I simply say. The energy, the fiery passion I've filled and the adrenaline that I've collected over the trip slowly shattered around me. "I'm supposed to."