Lethal. {manxman}

Chapter Fourteen.

Nick Bateman as Nikolai Culkin (damn, he is so fine) This book is nearing an end. I'm going to cry. Only one more chapter left before the epilogue, guys.

Lethal: Ch. 14

Alessandro Viconatti

 You could never know what it's like. Your blood like winter freezes just like ice.

As I took a sip of the scotch, letting the burn of it sink down my throat, I couldn't help but sigh at what I got myself into. I couldn't help but groan at the mess that I caused. I couldn't help but scream internally at the trouble that seemed to conspire without me trying. 

I fucked around and I broke the one heart I always wanted to cherish. I made tears come out of those pretty hazel eyes. I made those lips turn into a frown, when all I wanted was a smile. I crushed his heart into millions of pieces when all I wanted was to make it beat with the epitome of love. I wanted so badly to push all my love onto him until he was nothing but sated.

Yeah, I said it.

I fell in love with Eli Sawyer Kaylor. I think I'm still falling. 

"The first time I ever talked to you, my heart told me you were a dream come true." I whispered to myself. Yes, I was 8 years old when I first met Eli but even then, I knew he would always be apart of my life. I mean, how could I not? "The first time you put your hand in mine, I was wishing it would last a lifetime." I smiled sadly at all the memories of me holding Eli, me comforting him when he cried because of a scraped knee. Even the memory of him slamming my face into my birthday cake and me laughing at him when he got scared, thinking my face got stuck in the cake.

I cherished all of those moments, every single one. There was not a day that went by and a memory did not flash through my mind.

But I had to go fuck everything up, didn't I? 

I didn't even love Kristiana like that. She was a woman I greatly respected, but there was nothing else in our relationship for that matter. The one I loved was Eli, but I couldn't even tell him the truth because his life was on the line.

Literally.

I couldn't tell anyone else because their life would be in jeopardy, even my mother. God, she didn't deserve any of this. All she did was try to stray me away from my previous life and raise me to be someone better.

Life is demanding without understanding. 

But as push comes to shove, a man like Donatello Viconatti comes back into our lives only to ruin it all. You would've thought that since I was his son, he wanted me to be happy. But with a gun pressed to my hand and threats of assassination in thought, I was forced to do what he wanted.

Which was marry Kristiana De Mornay for the benefit of himself and no one else.

"God damn it!" I cursed as I tossed back all of the scotch, savoring the blaze of the drink. "You might want to go easy there, om." I heard a man speak with a heavy accent and I turned to my left, my eyes blurry from how much I drunk. "Nikolai?" I sputtered, once the familiar looks of the man came into place. "Yeah, uomo." He raised a brow at me, fire in his eyes and I knew he was angry.

I would be too.

"What kind of accent do you have?" I questioned, not ever hearing him speak like that. "Romanian and Italian. I get it from my parents." He finished, taking a sip of his whiskey. "You want to tell me why you're here, about ready to burst into tears?" He turned to me, all looks of amusement gone.

As if they were even there in the first place.

"I just realized I screwed up unintentionally." I began, telling him the whole story of how my father returned from Italy demanding things and how I was afraid he would hurt Eli if I didn't do what he said. "I didn't want to get Eli mixed up in all of this because I knew he wouldn't be able to forgive me if I let something happen to him." I stated. "I wouldn't be able to forgive myself." My heart was pounding and I just couldn't get the look of him out of my eyes. The face he made when he was crying and I was the cause of it.

Nikolai stared at me with a look of indifference.

He didn't say anything but just stared. "Nikolai, wha-" I felt a fist collide with my cheek, the intensity of it almost breaking my teeth and gums. My eyes widened at the pain registered with the brain. My ears started to ring and my lip blistered up when my teeth bit into it. I almost flung back into my seat from how powerful this man punched me.

Why am I mad? I don't get it. 

"What the hell Nikolai?!" I reached up to wipe away the blood, ignoring the pounding in my head. "You are a punk ass bitch." He rolled his eyes and I stared in realization of how many words were coming out of his mouth. "If my father threatened to kill Dominic because I wouldn't do what he wanted me to do, do you think I would give a damn? No. I would tell him to bring it on because I'm not about to let someone else dictate my life for me." Nikolai folded his arms. "I already have Dominic to do that for me."

I sat up a little bit. "If you really loved Eli, you wouldn't give a fuck if your dad said he was going to kill him. If you really loved Eli, you wouldn't have even considered the other woman. If you really loved Eli, you would have told him what was going from the start so he didn't have to find out the hard way. 

"My son is strong and brave enough to handle himself, much like his father." Nikolai groaned at the mention of his husband from his lips. "Eli loves you too much to let you go, which would explain why he's been at home crying his heart out. I really should do a number on your ass because you hurt my son. You did the one thing I told you not to do from day one, which was hurt him." Nikolai said in all seriousness.

"You better be damn glad I'm in a good mood." He fixed his pants while licking his lips and I raised a brow. "You better be damn glad I'm not Dominic because then, I would be in jail for attempted murder. You better be so damn glad Eli told me not to hurt you." He grumbled. 

He was looking out for me?

My heart swelled in realization and I smiled unconsciously. I can't believe I had someone like him in my life.

"I knew from the first day I met you, you were going to be someone important to my son, Alessandro Viconatti." Nikolai said, taking another sip of his drink. "From the first time I laid my eyes on you and I saw the look that you got in your eyes when you saw Eli, I knew it. I knew it because it was the same look I gave Dominic when I first met the stupid son of a bitch. As years went by, I saw how you acted around him. You did anything and everything for him. You didn't want to hurt him, that much I knew. Jesus, I think I realized that you were just about head over heels for him before you did." Nikolai nodded.

"You're the only person in his life that he has ever loved deeply. Why, I don't know. You look like a douchebag to me." Nikolai scoffed. "I don't even know why I'm talking to you when I could just go tell Eli to get off of his fucking ass and to stop crying because there are men better than you in this world." He scrunched up his face in disgust. My heart lurched in sadness at the thought of Eli finding someone else. I wanted to be the one that put him to sleep at night and the one that woke up in the morning with his morning breath fanning my face.

Nasty, but it was so worth it.

"But he's content with you and if he's happy, I'm happy." Nikolai cracked his knuckles, facing me.

"If by chance, you get Eli to forgive you, you better kiss the fucking ground he walks on. You better worship and make him feel like he's the fucking king of the world. You better do everything in your power to make sure he doesn't come back to my house, crying because you broke his heart." Nikolai warned me with a look in his eyes that promised death if Eli even so complained about me taking his food or something like that.

"If he does, I won't hesitate to kill you and I mean that. Best of luck, Alessandro. You're going to need it." He turned around and walked out of the bar, throwing a 20 at the bartender. I sat there, his last words leaving an imprint on my mind.

"If your father wasn't in your life at all, why would you risk your happiness for a man who clearly doesn't give a shit about you?"

That opened my eyes.

He was right. I was Alessandro Viconatti and I wasn't going to let someone else tell me who I couldn't and couldn't love. I truly realized, I had something to fix and I better fix it before my time was up.