Chapter 17: A Sinner

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A/N This story will have two parts, but both will be published here, you'll see what I mean. By the way, this story WILL have a happy ending so don't fret (;

It was dark in the morning when the door of May's room flew open. Alec and Demetri came in, Jane smirked behind Demetri, he had been so stupid, so stupid, of course the girl would run away, it was impossible for one of her kind to adapt to a place like this.

Demetri came upon the letter May had left and his gaze stared at it coldly as the world crumbled beneath him. She had lied to him. She had lied and now she had gone and run away. A mix of rage and desperation overwhelmed him. Why?! He just couldn't understand.

He thought of her, again and again. Her image burning in his mind and he branded it there, forever. Her shy smile and her green eyes, always alive. He remembered how her arms came around him in a warm embrace.

What a strange feeling, that of pain? There were all types of pain, but this one was the worst, like if a sharp knife had carved a hole in his chest and taken out his heart forever.

"You're the only one who can track her Demetri" Alec said, "There will be no more second chances"

"You know what Aro will do if he finds out," Jane spoke softly, "and you're precious girl will die."

At the corner of his vision he saw Alec, his cold stare, only one of understanding and sorrow, but now not even that could relieve his suffering. No, he needed her and only her, because she was air and he was dying to breath.

He was angry, desperate and empty, like a soulless creature, like May had once called him. His hands found the nearest desk and carved into the soft wood, making it splinter and crack. May would be his end.

When he spoke he was surprised at how unstable it was

"Alec don't say anything"

He looked at Jane in warning.

"She won't die, because I will bring her back"

She smirked, "Don't you need our help"

"I don't need your help" he growled.

And in a second he disappeared.

I will find you, he thought.

I will.

***

My fingers open numb to the cold as I run, the snow has covered my tracks and my breath has become cut and ragged. I just want to go home, I want to go home, because I can't take anymore lies and this, this aching feeling that I can't understand. Why is this so difficult? Something begins to fall from my eyes. I don't understand. Why am I crying? My legs suddenly become limp and then I am tumbling, tumbling down a small slope. My hair mixes up with the snow and I just let myself fall down, feeling the twigs and the forest rocks scratch my body and face. So this is what it has come to.

My body stops at the bottom of the slope and I try to stand up with my shaky legs. This wasn't supposed to happen, but it is happening and I can't move, I just can't move forward. Because I am not the same person I was from before, I'm not that happy girl that used to go church and I'm not that innocent girl anymore. I have kissed the devil and I don't know what my punishment will be. God, I can't move anymore.

I look around me and take in the beautiful white scenery. The lake is frozen and below me I can hear the water as it moves and freezes underneath. It is so white and pure that it is simply beautiful. How could God have created this. I move forward mesmerized by the cold lake and listen to the quiet.

Everything is still and frozen and for a moment I forget everything. I wipe a few of my tears away and run forward. I slip and fall down, sliding on the ice. Here I feel free, no one will never find me here, it will just be me and this place, just me and....

"May!"

My reflection cracks and I turn to see a man in a dark black coat. He is just like I remembered, handsome as ever, his pale face and red warm eyes. The first rays of sun rise from the trees. He is beautiful, a cold-marble prince, so calm and so distant and also something that I must never have. I stand up and inhale letting the fresh air rejuvenate me.

He is telling me something, but I'm not listening. I can't go back, but I can't move forward and this is where I am right now. In the middle, a strange creature, neither human nor vampire, not happy or sad, neither evil and good. I watch him for the last time, if loving the devil is a sin, then I am a sinner.

And I am a sinner that cannot be forgiven, because I will never stop loving him.

I will never stop loving.

Never

So for me, there is no forward, no tomorrow,

because I will take this love with me

and take it with me to the depths.

Forever cold

Forever frozen

In time

I'm sorry Demetri

The ice cracks below me and then I am falling, falling and sinking down, letting the cold water swallow and embrace me, just like a mother would take back its child. Yes.

Mother, father, wait for me. I am coming.

Sinking, because I cannot be forgiven.

My throat burns with the cold and I smile as I see the beautiful face of my sin come towards me. Am I in heaven? If it is then stay with me. My hand reaches out to touch his face.

Stay with me and don't leave me.

Please

Don't leave me

and don't ...

                          ...forget

Something cracks inside me.

Don't forget me.  

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