Huntress (Demetri Volturi lovestory)

Chapter 16: Escape

It's the middle of the night when my eyes fly open, I can feel nothing now, Demetri must've left. I am glad.

Click

Click

Click

The clock was ticking and time was running out. I sit on the table watching the hands of the clock turn, a pencil held in my hand and a piece of paper in front of me. I have written letters before, but this is different. I look at the stormy wind howling against the darkness of the night outside.

I bring the pencil down and write down the words I would have never dared to say in front of him.

— I'm not sure. But there's something about the darkness, the stillness of this hour, I think, that creates a language of its own. There's a strange kind of freedom in the dark; a terrifying vulnerability we allow ourselves at exactly the wrong moment, tricked by the darkness into thinking it will keep our secrets. We forget that the blackness is not a blanket; we forget that the sun will soon rise. But in the moment, at least, we feel brave enough to say things we'd never say in the light.

No one can live in the light all the time.

I believe you can't feel real joy unless you've felt heartache. You can't have a sense of victory unless you know what it means to fail.

I believe you can't know what it's like to feel holy until you know what it's like to feel evil.

Never in my life have I felt this. Nothing like this. I've felt shame and cowardice, weakness and strength. I've known terror and indifference, self-hate and yet I've known nothing like this horrible, paralyzing feeling. I feel crippled. Desperate and out of control. And it keeps getting worse— .

Tears fall down my cheeks and stain my words. I don't care.

— I feel sick. Empty and somehow aching. I want you so much it scares me. I want to be with you until I close my eyes and take my last breath—

My hand trembles as I keep writing

— But I can't

Because every second I stay here.

I die

I open my eyes come back to reality and then I realize that none of this is true. The truth, is a painful reminder of why I prefer to live among the lies.

I can't live here, with you, each step of this place or your touch reminding me that as time passes people die. And that even when they are already gone I can hear their voices. Everywhere. Making me re-live their memories and feelings when they died.

I can't live near you knowing that you destroyed the most important person in my life with your bare hands, because not only did you destroy her, but me, in the way as well. I hear and see her wherever I go and I don't think she'll ever fade until I fulfill her promise. I see you in my nightmares and in my fantasies. I think I hate you but then I realize I could never love someone so much.

Do I leave or do I stay?

Now I don't know what is worse, what kills me the least.

I only hope that I make the correct decision.

and that this is not another dead end.

Maybe there is no way out of this madness after all?

I know who I am, because the only person I am destined to be is the person I decide to be.

and I decide to be this.

Love May Lionheart—.

The pencil drops limp from my hand and tears fall recklessly down my face. I bite into my sleeve, my cries drowned out by the soft silk. The clock ticks behind me and I calm myself willing not to turn around and destroy it with my clenched fist.

Time. Time. So precious and unforgiving, moving relentlessly against me like a time bomb, a silent death sentence. Six hours till dawn. I don't think I'll sleep tonight. No, not tonight.

I cry so hard it hurts my throat, out of frustration of knowing that no matter what I attempt to do won't change the situation. All I feel is pain and heartache.

The scientists are wrong.

The world is flat.

I know because I was tossed right off the edge and I've been trying to hold on for all this time. I don't know if I can hold on much longer.

What am I doing to myself?

What am I doing?

I open the window of my room and let the wind enter in raging waves. I m sorry Demetri

And then I jump.

I'm sorry

My feet touch the floor as silently as I can and then I run.

"You wake up in the morning and wonder who you are. You fail to fall asleep at night and tremble in your skin. You doubt, you doubt, you doubt."

If you are new readers I recommend that you read the last chapter, because I changed many things, if not you might aswell read everything again . I am also going to edit my horrible grammer mistakes. Jijij (;  Don't forget to vote and comment on the next possible chapter. So what do you think May will do?