My Professor's Secret

03|

As much as I wanted to use my being here at all as a reason for conquering my perpetual fear of parties, it wasn't enough. Real change wouldn't happen by walking through the door idly hoping someone would rescue me from my discomfort and sudden urge of wanting to leave.

I scanned more of the house in search of someone who looked approachable enough to spark a conversation with, but hardly anyone was standing by themselves as I was. People were scattered everywhere with red cups glued to their hands enjoying each other's company. Indistinguishable conversations and music nearly drowned out every coherent thought going through my mind until an eruption of laughter from the living room caught my attention. There was a large crowd of people cramped amongst the furniture with their attention on a guy who'd been standing in front of them.

"I'm telling y'all, it was massive," the guy said.

A final burst of laughter escaped the crowd and he stepped from center stage, plopping down in the last empty spot on the sofa. Immediately after, a blonde girl stood up to take his place in the center of the room.

"This is a doozy," the girl groans through an amused smirk. "In high school I was dating someone I thought would be the one. Teenage love fucks you into believing the world operates in rose colored lenses when in reality shit's black and white. Me and this guy end up applying to all of the same colleges. A few months before graduation, I find out this dude has been talking to all of these girls from around the campus we applied to. Obviously I hear him out and idiotically accepts his reasons for 'making friends early'. Realistically he'd been cheating on me for the majority of our relationship. Fast forward to the start of a new school year. I'm loading all my boxes into my dorm and guess who I see walking past my room into the room beside me? Cheater guy," she pauses, and everyone laughs.

"So I'm fuming on adrenaline and anger because no friggin way right? I mean I couldn't even be upset because what more should I have expected? This was the first time I'd seen him since the breakup so I'm raw as hell with the emotions. Somehow I muster enough courage to walk to his dorm room. Honestly I couldn't even tell you what was going through my mind at that point. His roommate is putting away his things and my ex was on the other side laying on the bed. Imagine the shock of realizing out of all the schools we applied to together, we managed to settle on the same one. The expression on his face was one I'd never forget. I'm standing there trying to figure out what the tell I just got myself into and he races over to me and flings his arms around me in this huge hug. I pull away from him and give him the dirtiest half laugh before walking over to his roommate. Picture this scrawny little thing minding his own business and then this random chick lays the sloppiest kiss on him. My ex just stands there with his mouth wide open," she pauses.

"So once the kiss is over, I walk over to the door and look at him again and told him to call me later as if we were dating then I leave. As expected, my ex follows me out. By this time I'm trying my hardest not to laugh so it'd look as realistic as possible. I walk into my room he follows me in demanding answers. Before a i could even say anything the scrawny guy walks in goes, 'I think you should leave my girl alone, we've got a lot of catching up to do. If you know what I'm saying,'" she says, imitating a boys voice. "My ex is completely livid at this point and storms out like the drama king he's always been. It was truly hilarious. Now me and that guy are dating and I go over to their dorm as much as possible. I love seeing my ex squirm, but my boyfriend now can do a lot better in every aspect," she shrugs. "Moral of the story guys, if your ex is a douchebag, hook up with his scrawny roommate because a real relationship is destined to come out of it."

She ends her story and sits back down on the sofa. Claps from the crowd fill the room before someone else gets up to tell a story.

Though the storytelling was entertaining, I lacked the intimacy of a one on one conversation that I craved. I headed back over by the kitchen where I'd noticed a guy in the corner by his lonesome. It took every ounce of strength to convince myself over there, but I made it. Instead of talking, I mimicked his actions and leaned up against the wall with my arms folded out in front of me.