The Soccer Player's Goal

Not Good Enough

"We have practice. I hope your staying with Melanie to watch us." Jonathan tells me.
"Ms. Hernandez." The teacher repeats.
"I'll see. I might not." I stand infront of the teachers desk.

"How can I help you Mrs. Smith?" I ask her. She isn't my favorite teacher, and me and the guys aren't her favorite students. Now that I come to think of it no teacher likes us except for our Spanish teacher, the coach, and physical education teachers.

"Camila, I'm not sure where you come from, where you have been before coming here. I'm to the point of kicking you out of my class if you keep that behavior up." Mrs. Smith says.

"Excuse me? My behavior? I don't talk in class. I don't disrupt you, I don't disbehave. Neither do the guys. We just sit in the back, together, and do nothing. Kick me out of your class. Why haven't you done it already? You didn't like me since the day I set foot in this class." I tell her getting angry.

"That's not true. I did like you the first day you came in to this class. I expected alot from you. You haven't really shown me what I expected to see from you." She says.
"Well I'm sorry I dissapointed you. You must have gotten the wrong idea about the wrong girl. I haven't changed. I'm still the person I was when I got to this school and the same person I was in my old school."

"Camila calm down. I know how it must be to love in a house hold full of men. Your brothers and father. How your mother left you guys." She says, and I'm.
"That's it. You have no idea what goes through my life. Don't be surprised if you don't see me here tomorrow. Either I ditched or died. Like if you cared which of the two it is." I say leaving her class room.

"Camila come right back or I'll call your father." She yells from behind me.
"Do whatever the hell you want. Me vale!" I yell back. I uncoil my my ear buds and walk out of the school to the parking lot.

Raúl is leaning against his car as he places his phone to his ear. My phone buzzes and it's him calling me.
"Estoy enfrente de ti." I tell him. He looks up and puts his phone away.

He hugs me from my waist picking me up to his height. He buries his head in my neck.
"It took you a while to come out." He tells me.
"Yeah, my teacher wanted to talk to me." I tell him.

"I saw the soccer team go up to the field a while ago. Is it okay with you if we can watch them practice for a little?" Raúl asks me.
"Yeah, sure." He takes my backpack and puts it in the car.

He holds my hand as we go to the field. We sit at the stands. I look for Melanie but she isn't here. Neither is Francisco. The couch jogs over to were we are seated.

"Hey, Hernandez can you go change and sub in for Perez. He had a last moment emergency." Coach tells me. I look at Raúl unsure.
"Go, I'm going to be here." Raúl tells me.

The couch gives me the keys to the locker room and I run down to change. I pull my jersey. I run back with my cleats in my hand. I pull on the cleats and run to where the guys are.

"This is why you wanted me to come." I tell Jonathan and he smirks.
"Your alive. Mrs Smith didn't kill you." Marco says.
"Nope, I almost killed." I reply. I leave him shocked and wide eyed by my responce.

I look at Raúl, he is looking at me. He smiles and makes a heart with his hands. I smile and do the same. The coach splits the team to play a game. I'm on no team blocking the ball from both teams.

It's splitted into Jonathan's team and Marco's team. The couch walks around yelling at the guys on what they should do to improve their skills. He also yells at me a few times.

The score ends at 1-2. Marco wins. Jonathan's team had the part of the team that don't really go well playing together. They play well but they wouldn't be the best. Play to play. Self observed.

Marco's team had the peopel that work well together and let everyone on the team touch the ball. Skill and strategy. The open minded.

"Meet me at your car while I change."  I tell Raúl.
"Okay." I run to change. I change back into the clothes I was wearing.
"Who is that guy you are with. He doesn't come to this school does he." Jonathan tells me.

"Nope. I have to go. I'll see you guys tomorrow." I tell them.
  "Camila." Jonathan grabs my wrist. I turn to look at him. Waiting for him to speak. He let's me go, "I...I... Take care." Jonathan says not telling me what he was going to say originally.

"I will." I walk out to the parking lot. Raúl kisses my forhead.
"Tú si eres muy buena en el fútbol, Mi Niña." He compliments me. "Do you want me to take you to your house?" Raúl asks me.

"No, can we hangout at your place?" I ask.
"Yeah."

  We get to the apartment he is staying at. It's super nice, and clean. Wasn't really expecting that. Jonathan's room is a mess. So are my brothers rooms. Probably even my dad's.

"I'm going to get some popcorn." Raúl says. "Para ver una pelicula." I sit on the bed in his bedroom. Of the only bedroom. He walks in and turns on the TV. He takes his shoes off and lays beside me. "Ponte comoda."

I take my shoes off and lay beside him. He moves me closer to him. I scoot down a bit to lay me head on his chest. It's now that I realize the huge height difference between us.

He puts on a movie for us to watch . With one hand he is earing popcorn and with the other he is playing with my long black hair. Tired I begin to close my eyes.

Raúl and Jonathan are completely different personality wise. But they both make me feel at home. Safe, and happy. Well one more then the other.

Not wanting too I wake up. I'm still laying on the white bed but I'm undertake covers and Raúl is not beside me. I stand up and head to the small light. I open the door fully. I'm unsteady as my eyes ajust to the light.

I see Raúl standing behind the stove. I stop and just look at him. Why did he have to like me. He is perfect. A gentleman, kind hearted, loving, understanding, and I can just let go and be myself beside him and he'll accept it.

I'm messed up, broken, lost. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be here. I repeat to my self over and over. I turn around and run back to the room. I slip my shoes on and run to the door.

Raúl turns around when he hears me running past the kitchen. I swing the door open and run down the stairs to the bottom floor. Raúl yells my name but I keep going. Tears start to run down my face.

I run past his car and go back. My backpack is inside. I stand there tapping my foot thinking of what to do now.
"Camila!" Raúl reaches the last step. I leave my bag and keep running.

I get knocked of my feet and I'm falling with arms wrapped around me. I fall on the floor on top of Raúl. I fight him trying to get out of his embrace.

I give up when he doesn't let go. He yells at me to calm down. Then his voice softens. He picks me up and takes me back to his apartment. He sits down not letting go of me.

"Camila what is wrong. Por qué lloras. Por qué te ibas?" Raúl asks me.
  "Because your to good for me. I'm not good enough for you. I'm messed up, I'm broken, I'm lost. I don't know why I'm here. I don't know how or why you would like me. Why you would want to be with me." I answer with the tears still streaming down my face.

"Camila." He says moving my hair back so he can see my face. With his long finger he wipes away the tears frm my face. "Camila, eres la que yo amo. And I accept you the way you are. If your broken I'll fix you. If you're messed up, I'll help you get things straight. If your lost, I'll help you find your way to where you have to be." Raúl answers.

"I love you." He has me sit up, my legs across his lap. He holds my face in his hands. "I love you. I will shout it to the world. I will give you everything that what you want. All my love is your right now, and only yours." He kisses me.

Passionately, slowly, with so much gentleness. I get lost in his kiss and his embrace. I text Kevin telling him that I'm not going to go home tonight. Raúl and I have dinner and then we watch another movie that I end up sleeping through.