fragments

January Blues

happy new year and a very belated merry christmas ya filthy animals
-m

(I'm too lazy to proof read this now so be nice to me okay)

Knee socks/Arctic Monkeys

When you wake up you feel scattered.

Your head spins and you feel your heart heavier than usual in your chest, like your lungs can't carry the weight.

You drag your feet painfully to the bathroom to look at your reflection.

Your hair is a messy long mop on your head and you run a hand through it just in case something changes but give up.

The blue in your eyes looks icier and dimmer than usual and it looks even paler in comparison to the dark circles under them.

January blues.

He used to chase them away but he's not here anymore and you were tired, god you were so tired.

The hot water hits your back while you shower and you sit in the shower for much longer than you should, thinking of a certain pair of eyes that you wish you had next to you.

*****
You only leave your house in the evening, the cold still seeping through your turtle neck and long coat as you walk towards your car.

The radio plays some sultry tune as you drive to Kirstin's and you zone out until you finally find a parking spot.

You walk to the door and fix your self, a cheery attitude nesting itself in between your shoulders and you plaster on an easy going smile as you ring the doorbell.

January blues.

Kirstin is her usual self, overly happy and excited to see you and she hugs your middle while you lean towards her to say the basic hellos.

She takes your coat as she excitedly talks about the new dog she's getting with her boyfriend whose name you don't care enough to remember and leads you to the drinks.

And that's when something catches your eye.

He's small but not short nor fragile as he walks around in a big oversized shirt.

His hair looks soft and fluffy and it makes you want to run your hands through them and you notices the small dimples on his cheeks as he smiles and laughs to a joke someone said.

What really catches your eye though, are the black knee socks he's wearing and the smooth skin that peaks over their hem.

He's not wearing shoes and you realize that he probably has known Kirstin for long for him to be this comfortable.

He catches your gaze and gives a small shy smile and you catch yourself smiling back with teeth, your heart almost beating out of your chest.

******
You keep catching and loosing sight of the handsome stranger and as the evening turns into a dark night you realize that this is your only chance.

He's sitting on a chair on the balcony and somehow he managed to fit his legs on it in a way that looks effortless but beautiful at the same time, like a painting.

He laughs at a girl in front of him as she leaves and you watch as his face relaxes now that she's gone.

You stumble your way outside and he watches as you awkwardly sit and arrange yourself in the chair across from him.

"Do you mind if I join you?"

He sips his drink and smiles.

"Make yourself at home."

Now that you're closer, you realize he resembles a cat.

Sultry and elegant.

He eyes you carefully before he extends his arm and you notice his nails are painted a dark blue and his fingers are decorated with small tattoos.

"I'm Mitch."

"Scott. I like your nails by the way, they're pretty."

A satisfied grin settles on his face and he lets out a small chuckle.

"Thank you. If we're on the topic of things we like, I really enjoy looking at your face."

You're a little shocked at first but then you laugh.

"Thank you, I'm very glad the feelings are mutual."

******
Soon enough, you find yourself laying back on the same chair while he's settled on your lap like you've known each other for years.

He talks about his love for traveling and intricate clothes and coffee and you listen, intrigued by this beautiful person that seems to be in love with life.

He crosses and uncrosses his legs and you tentatively lay a palm on his thigh, fumbling with the hem of his socks.

His eyes travel down to it quickly but he recoils as a hand comes to rest on your shoulders and slowly rubs at your neck, fingers climbing towards your jaw.

His eyes look curious as he traces your face and you feel your breathing quicken as you realize how closer he is now.

Small puffs of breath come hot on your lips and when you murmur you're sure he can feel it.

"You know.. I never really liked January."

He looks a bit perplexed but only lets a small "mhm" out.

"I um.. I think I've changed my mind."

His eyebrows knit and you kiss him as the first snowflakes start to fall.