grey ; minizerk

xi

simon

today, it's been three months since i met josh.

he gave me a bouquet of white roses.

and then he asked me out on a date

of course, i said yes.

he took me to a fancy restaurant and i was anxious about the prices, so i looked at the cheapest dishes.

josh noticed that, so he told me not to worry.

i nodded in response and ordered what i wanted, since that seemed to make him happy.

i like to see him happy.

today, we got to know each other a bit better.

i know a lot about josh already,

but i wanted to know small details, things we hadn't discussed earlier.

he asked me what my favorite color was.

i said red.

josh's said his favorite color is blue, because that's the color of my eyes.

'he's such a cliché'

i asked him what his favorite tv show is.

he said he rarely watches them, but that he likes the walking dead.

i nodded and suggested that we should do a marathon some time.

he agreed.

"how could i ever pay you back now" i laughed as we left the restaurant.

i could tell josh thought about something because he smirked.

"what" i grinned and rolled my eyes playfully.

i noticed his gaze was shifting between my eyes and my lips, making me blush.

"you can kiss me" he said softly.

so i did.

and i realized i am addicted to his lips,

to how he looks at me like i am special,

to how i feel when he holds my hand,

to when he hugs me and comforts me.

i am addicted to him.

just like how i'm addicted to smoking my lungs grey.

but this is different.

josh isn't toxic, like the yellow and white cigarettes i keep in my pocket.

perhaps i could get used to this instead.