My Professor's Secret

02|

"Actually, I just took it off for your information," he chuckles.

It brought me back to how easy it was for mom to snap dad out of his bouts of sadness after she told us the truth about how sick she was.  Everything was perfect when she was around and if they weren't, it was her personal mission to fix them.

Family is messy, always has been and always will be, but mom had a knack for upholding appearance so we'd never look like what we'd been through.

She told me one time that presentation was key. No matter how things looked on the outside, the inside was where the real story resided. She made sure that we were the happiest kids she'd known, so when depression fell on me, she did everything in her power to drive it away. Our family had our numerous ups and downs, but we always came back on top of them—except for the loss of her. While Chris and I spent our time grieving alongside each other, Dad found the bottom of a bottle, or emptying himself at work to balance medical bills and college tuitions.

After mom died, his spark slowly disappeared. Our mother kept her illness to herself for a long time, even getting her to admit it to us took years.

She had an unshakable perspective of burdening anyone with her issues and part of me assumed she knew how hard it would affect dad, so she kept it quiet. She bought wigs to hide the chunks of hair she'd lose and makeup to cover up the frailties of her skin. When news had gotten out about her "sudden" death, I suppose it was easy to assume the ex bike club leader played a part in it.

Dad was obviously acquitted of all charges and speculation, though he never fully recovered from the backlash.

"I can't say I've missed the days of a silent house. It beats the hell out of me, but I keep waiting to hear the sound of you and your brother arguing," he scoffs out a laugh. "Speaking of which, how's your brother? He settling in okay?"

"I was just going to stop by his dorm to check on him. I've been busy figuring out the best routes around this place. You make anything for dinner last night?"

"Microwaved one of those frozen dinners your mother hated. It was late when I got back. That drive is still kicking my ass—sorry, my behind."

"Dad, take care of yourself. I don't want you falling off of the hinges while we're away," I pause. "Promise me you'll try."

Dad sighs again and holds the silence in his favor for a moment.

"I'm supposed to be the one giving you this speech," he says. "But I will. Say hi to Chris for me why don't you."

"Of course."

.

No one answered the door at Christian's dorm so instead I spent the rest of my time in the lounge scanning over the assignment our professor emailed us two days in advance until seven approached.

By the time I arrived to the lecture, most of the seats were taken. Everyone must've had the same intention. I scattered to an empty seat near the top row and quietly unpacked all of my supplies.

It was refreshing seeing so many unfamiliar faces. Growing up in a small town with the same people from birth grew old, quick.

"Freshman?" the guy beside me chimes.

A defeated laugh finds it way from my lips. "What gave it away?"