I Think I Wanna Marry You

Seventeen: 다 티가 나잖아 걸려들었어

Chapter Seventeen: 다 티가 나잖아 걸려들었어 (It's So Obvious That I've Fallen For You)

Sungjae woke up feeling deliciously warm, which was weird because the chilly autumn air always got to him in the mornings. He groggily tried to make sense of his surroundings as his mind slowly woke up and discovered his arm slung over the source of heat. He cracked an eye open and squinted as gentle rays slipped through the crack in the blinds from the window next to the bed. He could make out a slender, feminine figure in front of him, silky hair flowing down the pillow, and finally he remembered where they were.

Something stirred within his heart.

Joy was right there, next to him in bed, and he inexplicably wanted her closer. So he tightened his grip around her waist, to pull her snuggly against himself, his long body encompassing her little one as he nuzzled his nose into her hair. She was soft and warm, and smelt indistinctly spicy, like sandalwood and lime. Everything he felt for her that had been building up since they met and since he realised just how attracted he was to her, somehow all gathered in his chest in that moment - like a balloon blown to full capacity and made to shove through a wind tunnel - it was slightly overwhelming.

Since he was a child, he had always been lazy in bed during the colder months. He would wake up as dawn broke, before everyone else - back in the days where he used to share a room with his parents and sister - and he would lie absolutely still just listening to the breathing patterns of those he loved around him.

His dad was the quiet sleeper, with relaxed, even breathing that was occasionally disrupted whenever he shifted - his dad moved a lot in his sleep. Surprisingly, his mother was the one who snored - he unfortunately inherited his eomma's sinus problems. His snores were louder than his mum's, so he could not complain. His sister sleep-talked. He used to giggle to himself as he listened to his sister mutter about her newest adventure in the foreign lands her imagination conjured up. She often scolded the strangers she met in her dreams - she had a fiery personality.

So he lay with his eyes closed, to listen to the sound of Joy's breathing, just like how he used to with his family - something he never had the luxury of doing since idol life. Somehow, in the calm of the morning, hearing her next to him felt more affectionate than any skinship.

He always wondered why men in books and dramas liked to watch the object of their affections sleep - he had always felt that was rather creepy; not to mention the stalker-like association. But in that moment, listening to the tiny irregularities in her breathing and occasional hum as she moved, he felt himself beginning to understand their sentiment.

People were at their most raw and most defenceless as they slept. There was no control, no airs, no self-monitoring while their consciousness frolicked within its own constructed universe. Every little noise, or whine, or fight for the duvet was completely unfiltered, and that makes it so intimate. To be close enough to witness something so private - he felt slightly intrusive. The balloon in his chest slowly expanded again, filling up all the little crevices of his heart. Holding her felt both strangely surreal yet somehow incredibly familiar.

Joy moved in his arms, turning towards him, unconsciously burrowing closer into his warmth. She clicked her tongue against the top of her mouth as she shifted. Sungjae smiled, thinking that she slept exactly like a toddler.

Flashes of the previous night came into his mind and a deep rubble erupted from low in his chest. He tried to quieten his giggles, but it was too late, Joy had started stirring.