Falling (Rick Grimes Romance)

Chapter 24

There's that sinking feeling one gets in the pit of your stomach when your about to step head long into shit and you know it's coming. You can feel your panic ratchet one degree higher with each step you take. The closer you get the more flustered and uncertain you become. Next thing you know your finding plenty of excuses at the ready as to why you should procrastinate or not do it at all.

Standing hidden well within the tree line I wallowed in a well of my own guilt as I watched Rick. He was sitting with his head buried in his hands. While I was still skulking several yards away I could see the stress rolling off him in waves.

Putting my own misgivings behind me I forced myself forward. With absolutely no idea what to say or how Rick was going to react i could only hope for the best as I walked up behind him.

I stood beside Rick trying to find the right words to say when he spoke first, "You would think after all these years the least man could have perfected was a bloody condom. Ninety-eight  percent effective and it would figure that I would use the one that didn't work."

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. This was going to be harder than I imagined.

"When Carl was about two years old Lori and I decided to try for another baby. We tried for over a year and nothing. For all the ovulation kits, doctors appointment and hours of planning when was the best time to have to have sex we had nothing to show for it." Glancing up at me Rick laughed cynically as he threw his hands up in the air. "After all this time, at the wrong time, I got Lori pregnant."

Scrubbing his hands down his face Rick looked like he was on the verge of loosing his shit. "I know I have to own up to it but I can't believe this shit is happening."

Shaking his head Rick dropped his head back into his hands, "I'm sorry for dumping this on you. Talking to me about this is probably the last thing you want to do..... I'm so sorry Jenna."

"No, that's why I came." Five measly words and I clamped up again. Could I mire of a chicken shit.

"It's been two months since we've been together," Rick attempted to put the timeline together. "I never even thought to ask Doc how far along she was but how did Lori not know she was pregnant sooner."

"She did." I blurted out surprising even myself. Quietly adding, "And she wasn't the only one. I knew too."

Confusion echoed in Ricks eyes as he raised them to meet mine. "What?"

Nervously I began to fidget with the clasp on my gun holster as I stared back at Rick. My thoughts scrambled as I grappled what to say next. Instinctively I wanted to minimalism my knowledge and role in events but I had come to be honest and put everything on the table.

"Your condoms... the pregnancy wasn't exactly...." I was never going to get through this if I was looking at Rick.

Dragging my eyes from Ricks I looked off into the tree line looking at nothing in particular. "There's more to why Shane and I broke up. Do you remember the night you were voted to join the medical team?"

His voice sounding weary Rick asked, "Ya, what about it?"

"I over heard Shane and Lori talking in the commissary." My nerves now getting the better of me I began to pace back and forth in front of Rick. "They were talking about us."

"About how to keep us apart so we didn't become friends or anything else." Nervously ringing my hands together my words came in a rush, "They came up with a plan, actually it was Shane's idea but Lori agreed to it. She poked holes in all your condoms and then tried to get in your pants. Her pregnancy wasn't a mistake but by intention."