I said NO (Completed)

Shh.........

The white walls were like heaven to the girl's eyes. She closed them once again. Maybe she had heard wrong. Maybe she was still where she had been just a while before. White... purity... she felt herself slipping away once again. She welcomed it with warmth. However, something was stopping her from reaching her desired destination. Those weren't the sound of ringing bells, they were more chaotic, painful... she tried to scream, to tell them to stop... but nothing came out.

******************

'Oh God! No!' she had enough of it. She had lost one, she wasn't going to lose the only other she was left with. 'Doctor, please my daughter....' she called out to the doctor who had rushed into the hospital cabin.

'Mrs. Sen,' the nurse tried to console her, 'We are doing everything in our power. Please, you need to calm down.'

"Calm down? Calm down? " Mrs. Sen felt delirious, "How can you be so heartless? How can you ask me to calm down when my daughter is lying there, fighting for her life? I want her back. She was here... she was awake....", her voice cracked, she could no longer stop the sobs from wrenching out of her body, "Now she's gone. Oh God! She's gone..."

"Mrs. Sen!"

"Nila, please, sweetheart, please don't abandon me just like your sister has done, please."

"Mrs. Sen!"' the Doctor gave her another fierce shake and once she was sure she had her attention, she said, "Your daughter is awake."

************

Nila's POV

I am pampered. I am taken care of.

I am never scolded or shouted at. I am precious.

Or more importantly... Vulnerable.

I hate it.

I hate their caution.

I hate the look of pity in their eyes.

I especially hate it when I read from their expressions what they are silently screaming at me.

Weak.

I am not weak. Don't they see it? I am still alive. I am strong. Yes, I wanted to go away... to float away... to grab the opportunity of experiencing ultimate peace but I am back, am I not? Why can't they see it? Why don't they see it?

Blind... they all are.

Even my mother.

And I will show them that I am right.

********

The wind blew few burgundy strands of her newly highlighted hair on her face, covering her eyes. She shoved her glove covered hands deeper into the pockets of her short woolen coat, more out of habit than out of feeling cold. She stared at the dull, gray sky, listening to the soft sound of the sea stretched in front of her and took a deep breath.

"Nila."

 She turned around at the sound of someone calling her name. Her mother.

Nila mutely nodded at her. No words were needed. She watched the retreating figure of her mother become smaller in size until she disappeared behind the door of a building.

She knew people were expecting her there. But she also knew that she had no idea what she would speak.

For 10 years, she had relentlessly fought against the stereotypical expectations, beliefs and advises people had from, about and to give her.

10 years.

She sighed and looked down. The sea waves broke and broke, until they were nothing but a thin layer of foamy water. They gently rolled towards her though never quite reaching her.

Exactly the way she wanted it... the way she could take it, tolerate being even near the sea without breaking down completely.

She turned her back towards the sea and stared at the building...

You have come so far Nila; you can do a puny thing like giving a speech without preparation.

If only it was that easy.

She looked at the sky for one last time before she started striding towards the building.

The auditorium was full with people... her family, famous personalities, social reformers and the media. Nila found her mother sitting in the front row, just in front of the dais. She licked her dry lips once... speaking in front of the media was the least of her concerns now, she had been doing the same for 10 years. However, she knew what she was about to say and it wasn't anything pleasant.

She ignored the chills running down her spine and appeared on the stage, making her way in front of the microphone. She tapped on it twice.

A hush fell over the whole auditorium.

"Afternoon, ladies and gentlemen", she said while her gaze swept over the whole room.

She loudly exhaled as the huge question mark in her mind becoming even more prominent, asking her, begging her to not make that incident anymore real then it felt.

"Well, as you all know why I am here... to lecture you about feminism, molestation, blah, blah, blah... so lets jump into the topic right away."

"We all know what rape is. Forced to have sex. From the infamous incidents of Park Street and Nirbhaya, we all know the level of evilness too. We know what happens, we know what it is... we even know what the women might have felt... pain, excruciatingly indescribable pain, trauma... but we... what we don't know is, what she might have felt at that moment... that exact moment, when she knew she was about to be violated in the worst possible way, and she had no power to stop it."

She looked away. She finally felt confident. She looked at her hands kept beside the table-microphone and continued in almost a whisper, "10 years. And I still remember every touch, every word they had said, and every laugh they had shared. About us."

"26-10-2006. The day I had turned 18. And the day me and my sister were raped."