Chapter 1

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I woke up to my alarm clock ringing in my ears. I felt good unlike, how I used to feel when I woke up, like I wanted to die. There was a banging on my door. It was my best friend Jenna. We called her Jen though. Me and Jen, we're so different. She was the typical girl every guy wants. Tall, Blonde, Blue eyes, Skinny, the usual. Then there's me. Tall, Brunette, Brown eyes, and on the "thicker" side. I had somehow learned to like my self. At least more then I used to.

"Alexis! We're gonna be late come on!"Jen practically screamed.

"Uh, where the hell are we going?"

"You don't remember?! Obviously not. We're supposed to meet Amanda and Elisa at Starbucks in 25 minutes!"

"Oh shit! Ok go get the car started! I'll try to hurry."

I sprung off my bed towards my bathroom. I always hated going outside in winter. The cold air always hurt my arms. I some how got myself to do it every weekend though. I put mascara on, put my clothes on, put my hair in a messy bun on top of my head and ran down the stairs, grabbed my keys and headed out the door as the freezing cold Iowa air hit my face.

"Wow that was fast!" Jen remarked obviously stunned.

"It's an art." I smiled and remember how good it feels to be happy. "Off to Starbucks!" I put the keys in the ignition and drove to the Starbucks in the mall.

-10 mins-

"Hey guys! What took you so long?" asked my other friend Elisa. She's kind of like Jen but shorter and has greenish-blueish eyes.

"I'm so sorry! I woke up late."

"Well we don't let ratchets sit at our table! Sorry not sorry." Amanda remarked with her usual attitude. Amanda's not like others girls. Her black hair looks blacker then everyone else's. Her brown eyes are browner then other girls. Her attitude is bolder then other girls. She just always seemed different to me then other girls have. A good different. I've always admired Her ability to hide her emotions. The ones you can't see in her expressions at least.

"Whatever." I said. with as much sass I can muster this early in the morning.

"Umm.. Alexis. We have to talk to you, all of us." Elisa says quietly.

I looked up at her knowing my face was the face I make when I'm terrified. In that moment, my blood froze in my veins. My brain once filled with thoughts is now filled with dread full memories of the past. Tears well up in my eyes, but I push then back. I can't show them my emotion. I just can't. they're my best friends, but they don't know about my past. Only Jen knows. Even she doesn't know all of it. Did they find out? Terrible thoughts run through my head. Will they still want to even talk to me once they- if they know about my past? I finally find my voice.

"Uh, what?" Is all I can mutter without bursting into tears and falling to my knees in weakness.

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