Flatmates - Solangelo AU

TWENTY

Every time he stood up, his vision blurred and he felt like throwing up, but he didn't care. He would make dinner and leave it out for Will before retreating to his room once more. Time blended together until he wasn't sure what day it was. He was glad for that. He didn't want to know.

"Nico?" Will called, knocking on the door. It wasn't latched, so the pressure pushed it open. "I went ahead and ordered pizza, come eat." Will watched Nico roll over on his bed, wide awake.

"I'm not hungry, you go ahead."

"That's bull. Get your ass in the kitchen. Now." Will wasn't joking around. While he hadn't been home much, he knew Nico was spiraling. His frame was tinier than usual, and his entire being looked like simply breathing took effort.

Nico went to stand up, but everything went dark. There was a buzzing in his ears, and everything got really loud. The room felt incredibly hot, and he tried to remain upright, but he felt himself swaying.

Nico's eyes fluttered open to see Will's face close to his own, patting a damp cloth on his forehead and hand on his wrist, checking his heartbeat. "Oh thank goodness." Will sighed in relief when he saw Nico wake up. He handed Nico a cold glass of water, which he shakily brought up to his mouth to sip from. "What on earth happened, Nico?" Will asked quietly, shaking his head. "You were doing so well."

Nico didn't say anything; just sat up the best he could and sipped his water. Will went and got him some food, but Nico shook his head. "Doctor's orders." Will insisted, and Nico sighed. He didn't have the energy to argue, and nibbled on the piece of cheese he picked out of the sandwich. "I'm going to call Hazel." Will said, standing up from his spot on the floor in front of the couch Nico was sat on. Nico shot out his hand and grabbed Will's arm, shaking his head.

"Don't call her, I'm fine."

"If you finish that sandwich, I won't phone her." Will bargained. He knew it was a cheap move, but he could think of no other way to get Nico to eat.

"Fine." Nico grumbled. It took him an hour to finish the sandwich, but he did. Will had turned on the TV and Nico tried to focus on it, but his brain wasn't cooperating at the moment. His entire body was filled with guilt, and he knew he had messed up again.

He couldn't stand the silence anymore. "I'm sorry, okay?" Nico finally blurted out. "Is that what you want to hear?" He turned his head sharply to Will staring him straight in the eyes, looking confused. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry you have to put up with me, I'm sorry I couldn't be enough for you, I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up!" Tears blurred Nico's vision and he knew he was yelling, but he couldn't stop. Will tried to pull him closer to calm him down, but Nico yanked his arm free, standing up. "I told you. I told you that I was a mess. I'm sorry, okay?" His voice cracked and his cheeks were tear stained.

Nico slammed the apartment door behind him and ran down the stairs as fast as he could. He ran to the back of the building and collapsed on the floor, back leaning against the wall. His eyes fixated on the broken bottle lying in front of his feet, but he shut his eyes, looking up at the sky. 'I'm not that person anymore. I'm not that person anymore.' He repeated over and over in his head.

His hands were shaking, itching to reach out towards the sharp object, but he clamped his fists tight, opting to slam them against the cement instead. 'I'm not that person anymore. I'm not that person anymore.' His knuckles were bleeding, but he paid no attention to the stinging. 'I'm not that person anymore.'

Time blurred together as Nico sat on the ground. He couldn't feel his fingers, the stinging from the scrapes numbing them altogether. He heard his phone ring several times, but he ignored it. He wasn't sure how much time had passed until he heard Will cry out in relief.