I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

It's All My Fault

I lied. I had told Gerard that I stopped cutting but I didn't. I kept on cutting like crazy. Addicted, I couldn't stop. I had my blade in hand when I got a sudden urge. A terrible, terrible urge. So, instead of cutting the normal way, I went and cut from my wrist down to my elbow, tears streaming my face. I screamed, seconds before I blacked out on the bathroom floor.
Gerard's POV
I was sitting in the kitchen, having a conversation with Mikey. He changed the subject to Sophie.
"She's been acting strange lately, Gerard."
"She's fine. I know her. And I know she's okay. Wouldn't you be hurt if mom died?"
"Well yeah, but-"
"No, Mikey, she's just missing her. Your own mother's death isn't just something you get over with easily."
"If she's so okay, then where is she?"
"In our room. She's fine, I'm telling you. She's-"
I'm cut off by a long, high pitched scream coming from the basement. Sophie.
I don't have time to think before I jump out of my chair and fly down the steps. Honestly, I don't even remember running down the steps, I remember being at the top and my feet tou cu ing the bottom of the steps. I ran into the bathroom, sure that that's where she was. I open the door to find her lying in a pool of her own blood, blade in hand.
Mikey runs up behind me as I collapse to the ground. I hold her lifeless body in my arms as Mikey calls an ambulance.
The paramedics come and I'm in tears. It's all my fault. I didn't realize something was going on.
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We arrive at the hospital not too long after. She's been stitched up and has had a blood transfusion. The doctors and nurses have left the room and I'm left alone with her. The heart monitor beeps, slowly but it's beating. I brush her hair out of her eye, when I feel her skin get colder.
Then I hear it. The long beep. She's dead. And it's all my fault.
Author's Note
Hi, sorry I haven't updated it in a while, I've been busy preparing for the holidays. Anyways, no, this is not the end of the book. There's more.
- Ash