My Handsome Katipunero

KABANATA 17

"Kristin." napaiwas ako ng tingin nang ngumiti si Antonio. Tumakbo siya palapit sakin, "Tulungan na kita."

I looked at him when he held my arm, "Ha? 'W-wag na. K-kaya ko naman."

Umiling siya, "Dapat hindi ka masyadong naglalakad baka mas lalong bumukas ang sugat sa iyong binti."

Remember, Kristin. It's in his nature to be so caring. Don't put any meaning to it. But how could I not? After what Corazon said, of course hindi maiiwasan na bigyan ko ng kahulugan ang pagiging maalalahanin niya.

Hinayaan ko nalang siya kahit na halos tumalon na ang puso ko palabas ng dibdib ko. He led me to the wooden bench kung saan naglalaro ang mga bata. Corazon said that this was Tandang Sora's house.

So this is what my brother was talking about.

I looked at the kids. They were chasing each other, laughing like there's no war outside the fences of this house.

"Kumusta ang iyong pakiramdam? May masakit pa ba sa'yo?" he asked nang makaupo kami.

I cleared my throat, "M-masakit pa rin 'yung sugat sa binti ko, pero ayos na ko." I smiled.

He didn't answer. Instead, he stared at the cut on my cheek. I touched the wound at agad naman niyang iniwas ang tingin mula rito.

"Pasensya na. Kung dumating sana ako ng mas maaga, hindi ka naskatan." he uttered, looking at his feet like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

Another thing I learned about Antonio, he doesn't like to blame others. He blames himself instead. Unlike me, all I know is how to put the blame on others.

"Ayos lang."

"Pagkalabas mo ng bahay kagabi, dumating si Rafael dala ang masamang balita. Paparating na raw ang mga kastila at dadakpin ang mga tumutuligsa sa Espanya. Unang tumakas sina Lola at nagpaiwan ako upang hanapin ka nang mapansin kong wala ka sa bakuran. Hinahanap kita sa buong baryo ngunit hindi kita nahanap. Hanggang sa dumating ang mga kastila," he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration saka napahilamos ng mukha. "Labis ang kabang nadama ko. Pangalawang beses na nakadama ako ng labis na takot."

I swallowed the bump on my throat.

"Pero hinanap pa rin kita maging sa bayan. Mabuti na nga lang at may batang lumapit sa akin at sinabi ang iyong kinaroroonan at," I saw how his jaw clenched and the sudden change of emotion in his eyes. "N-nakita kong sinasaktan ka ng lalaking 'yun."

His eyes was filled with anger. But, something inside me stirred when I saw fear and worry in his eyes. I haven't seen him this angry at the same time scared and worried. I don't like seeing that pained expression of his but it also made me happy knowing that it was for me.

Nobody has ever cared that much for me.

"Maraming salamat." he turned his head to look at me. "Salamat at dumating ka. Kung hindi ka dumating, hindi ko na alam kung anong nangyari sakin. Kaya 'wag mong sisihin ang sarili mo."

Matagal niya akong tinitigan bago lumitaw ang ngiti sa kanyang mga labi. Then, I felt the butterflies in my stomach again. Pero hindi tulad ng dati, I didn't feel uneasy.

It makes me wonder..

I stared at the sky, "Antonio, umibig ka na ba?"

It was too late for me to realize what I said. Naramdaman kong natigilan siya.

Gusto kong lamunin na ako ng lupa. Siguro pagtatawanan ako ng mga estudyante sa University 'pag nalaman nilang tinanong ko ang tanong na yun. The Kristin asking a guy if he had fallen in love? Oh god, this is embarrasing.