My Handsome Katipunero

KABANATA 16

"Kuya, hindi ba nalungkot ang family ni Andres Bonifacio nung namatay siya?" I asked kuya Kevin.

Ngumiti siya, "Syempre. Sobra silang nalungkot. Pero sa kabila nun, masaya sila dahil alam nilang magbubunga ang pagsasakripisyo niya." he patted the chair beside him, gesturing me to sit down. Sinunod ko naman ito.

"Gagawin mo rin ba 'yung ginawa ni Andres?"

"Magiging doktor na ako, kailangan handa akong ialay ang buhay ko para sa bayan."

I hugged him, "Kuya, mom and dad will be sad if you do that. I'll be sad. If you want your name to be written in textbooks, you can always become an author. You don't need to become a hero." I heard him stiffle a laugh. "I don't want you to die." I muttered.

Kuya Kevin hugged me back, "Hindi naman sa ganun, Kristin. Ganito," umalis siya sa pagkakayakap sakin at hinawakan ang magkabilang balikat ko. "Hindi namatay sina Bonifacio, sina Rizal, para sa karangalan. Hindi sila namatay para maisulat ang pangalan nila sa mga aklat. Ginawa nila 'yun para sa pagbabago. Para sa kalayaan."

My brother ruffled my hair, "Ganun din ang gagawin ko."

"You'll raise a revolution against the president?"

He chuckled, "Ikaw talaga. Hindi lang naman sa pakikipaglaban maipapakita ang pagmamahal mo sa bayan. Si kuya, ipapakita pagmamahal niya sa bayan sa pamamagitan ng paggamot at pagtulong sa mga taong may sakit. Hindi ba't parte ng bansa ang mga mamamayan nito?"

My brother was my hero. His words were my inspiration. My guide. I admire him so much. Maprinsipyo siyang tao. Kung ano ang pinaniniwalaan niyang tama, 'yun ang paninindigan niya. He fights for what's right. For the better. In spite of overwhelming obstacles, he'll stay strong. He'll find a way to solve problem.

He is simply amazing and I just couldn't imagine life without him.

But then, it happened.

My brother was kidnapped and was violated. He was traumatized to the point na nagha-hallucinate na siya. And what's worse is everytime his sedatives are off, magwawala siya. And it'll take two or three nurses to calm him down.

A week after the incident, I was standing outside my daddy's study. The door was slightly open kaya naririnig ko ang pinag-uusapan ng mga tao sa loob.

I could hear ate Shanaiah's sobs. He was my brother's girlfriend. She was with him in Sulu.

"P-patawarin niyo po ako. K-kasalanan ko po, kung pinigilan ko sana siya. Kung hindi ko sana siya hinayaang sumama umakyat ng bundok. Hindi sana siya nagdurusa ngayon."

"Shanaiah, hija. You don't need to blame yourself." my mother, Alicia Lopega, gently said.

"N-no, it's my fault. I shouldn't have let him. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Shanaiah said between her sobs.

I gripped the teddy bear I was holding.

"That's right. Blame yourself. It's your fault. If you stopped my brother, hindi sana siya nasa ganitong sitwasyon." I said to myself. I felt anger consuming me.
I stiffened when I heard my father, Leonardo Lopega, spoke. "My son did that to help a family living in that mountain. Walang makakapigil sa kanya pagdating sa pagtulong sa mga nangangailangan. Don't blame yourself, Shanaiah."

I walked away after hearing those words. But instead of going to my room, I went to my brother's room. I gently opened the door pero hindi ako pumasok.

I looked at my brother, his sedatives are off, kaya nagwawala na naman ito. He was screaming while throwing away the pillows.

Hot tears threatened to fall down my cheeks, "Your wrong, kuya."