Bruises

Despair

It's been a week since I woke up to find he left my house without a goodbye. I guess I shouldn't be surprised he couldn't handle my shit. Yay me. I finally went back to school the following Wednesday and searched for Jason in the halls but to my despair I wasn't able to find him. He hadn't texted or called me at all since he left.

Guess he moved on...

I guess word travelled fast around the school. Everyone was pitying me and it was disgusting.

"Nicky are you okay?!"

"I wish I knew, I feel awful"

"You're so strong"

Blah blah blah. It's all just an act.

My mom had been making me go to church with her as a sign of good faith. (Lmao get it, good FAITH. Ah I hate myself.) Now I'm not like atheist or whatever but church just makes me anxious like every other thing in the universe. If you've ever been to a suburban Christian church in California, you'd know how loud it is.

But that's beside the point.

I'm walking to my next class, physics, my least favorite class. When I bump into someone. I freak and apologize like 70 million times and I look up to see it's Jason. I turn bright red and get instantly quiet.

Great, this guy.

"Nicky..."

"No no it's cool. It's my bad I wasn't looking" I give a forced smile and shove past him towards my classroom. I make it finally and collapse in a desk, throwing my head into my hands.

Could that have been any more awkward?