Coming Down

Something Stupid

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Chapter Two: Something Stupid

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It was the third night. Four in the morning and I was still awake.

I hadn’t moved from the position I had sat in, my legs criss-crossed and my hands folded in my lap.

All I could do was think about that form, the one that still lay hidden behind my desk.

Was I really throwing my life away, just because of something Michael had said? He obviously hadn’t meant it.

…Right?

My head pounded as I thought.

Michael had never told anyone to go die before. So it must’ve just been the game…

So how come whenever he gets mad, it’s always me he insults?

It clicked.

Oh.

I reached up and gripped my hair.

My boy actually hated me. That was why.

But, I wasn’t going to do it just for him, was I?

I could feel myself slipping into a panic.

Did more people hate me?

Were they only friends with me because of Geoff?

My head thumped as the thoughts became louder and louder.

A high pitched ring began to echo in my ears, so loud that it was painful.

I covered my ears out of instinct, groaning at the dull pain. It did nothing to muffle the noise and the ringing seemed to increase.

It was as if the world had turned up the volume completely.

The pain was so sharp now, and I didn’t even notice the tears that began to slip down my face.

It was so fierce.

I let out a yell as the black spots spattered across my vision and the noise subsided. I began to sob, the pain thudding heavy behind my skull.

Soft footsteps made their way towards me and Millie’s whispered voice followed.

“Are you okay, Gav?”

I let out a small sob as I tried to stop my voice from quivering.

“I don’t know Millie. I’m not even sure anymore.”

“Why?”

I let out another choked sob as she gave me a hug.

“It’s nothing Millie. Something stupid, I promise. Go back to bed.”

She nodded and gave me another quick hug before hurrying out of the room.

I buried my face in my hands, tears leaking out from the spaces and falling onto my legs.

~~~~~~~

I was like a robot.

I did everything in a daze, eat, work, watch and listen.

I didn’t say a word all day, and nobody questioned it.

Everything flew past in a blur, up until now.

“Now” was eleven at night, editing.

Somebody tapped me on my shoulder and I turned, ending up face to face with a curly haired boy. I let out a squeak of shock and he laughed nervously.

“Hey, Gav…”

I nodded a greeting.

“Hi, Mi-cool…”

I bit my lip before speaking up.

“Mi-cool… Did you really mean what you said yesterday? That sometimes you wish I’d just die?”

He stiffened visibly.

“It doesn’t matter Gavin. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“But, Mi-cool…”

“I said it doesn’t fucking matter! Drop it, okay?” He snarled at me and I glanced down, standing up and walking out.

“I’m sorry.”