retrograde.

;twenty two

twenty three: you bring good
to my lonely life.

trigger warning; drug use + mentions throughout

I'm grounded into oblivion. To and from school. Everyday. No visiting Eli, Blake, Reed, or Violet. I'm so grounded, Caden's probably going to get grounded just because there's so much left over.

And then there comes the talk, the one I've been dreading. Because no matter how many lies I tell, they don't believe me, and rightfully so.

They ask me what kind of drugs I did at the party, and as far as they know, I only did xanax and had a few drinks. When I mentioned xanax, they were trigger happy to call my old therapist and set up a meeting. But with a little schmoozing, some begging, a few crocodile tears, they decided against it. However, they made me promise to never use xanax again unless I absolutely needed it. I agreed, but mentally, I had two crossed fingers behind my back.

"So you and Violet, huh?" Eli's eyebrows shot up and a knowing look on his face. "How was your little sleepover?"

We were in history, ignoring Mr. Felix as he talked about the dissolution of the Soviet Union. We had been in here for a total of thirty minutes and the only thing I could think about was being anywhere else.

"Fine." I shrug.

Eli, like he always did, doesn't ask up front. He always tiptoes around the subject and in the end, based on what you told him, will come to his own conclusion. More often than not, he's right. I could have easily told him that I lost my virginity, but I figured that was me and Violet's business.

Eli slapped me on the shoulder. "Finally, dude! I almost thought you were going to die a virgin."

"Shut up."

There was a period of silence before he decided to speak again, and I knew just by the look on his face that the conversation was taking a serious turn. And I knew exactly what it was about.

"So how much trouble are you in?" His voice drops to a whisper.

"I'll never see the light of day again." I joke.

"Was it just xans you took at the party?" He asked.

If I didn't know any better, from that question alone I would have thought Eli knew something. The look he was giving me didn't help either.

"Why?" I question.

"Because, you kinda spazzed out on your family, and you never do that." He said.

I rub my nose. "I was just upset, Eli, alright?"

"I've never seen you that upset, and I've known you for years." Eli shook his head. "Since when did you start cursing at your parents?"

He was asking too many questions. Too many for my liking. Don't get me wrong, I love Eli with all of my heart, but there were times when he was just too curious. Like I said, he wouldn't be straightforward with his questions, but he would talk a hole in your head to get answers out of you. It was annoying at times, much like now.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" He asked, his voice somehow lower than it was before. "Anything at all, Cas."

I stared at him for a moment, then my eyes narrowed slightly. "Are you hinting at something, Eli?"

"No." He was frowning at this point. "No, not at all. I'm just saying. If you want to tell me something, you can."

"I don't." I snap. "Alright? I don't. Drop it."