Yes indeed YES INDEED! A Naruto fanfic has been chosen for our first critique. Naruto was the first anime we watched so it only seemed appropriate. We'll be scouring Wattpad for gut-wrenching Mary Sues to add to this book of atrocities. So prepare y...
Commas love you. They really do. Please don't forget about them. The biggest error in grammar here is run on sentences. Not a bad fault at all. Just add those commas in there in place of a few "and"'s.
Even though her life was like she died in the most normality way possible.
Yeah... I'm afraid to ask how.
Death but hit and run. She was crossing the street and got hit by a drunk driver and that's it The End. Or so she thought.
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There's a lot of auto-correct errors. The first sentence barely makes any sense. This is just the prologue guys. Oh excuse me, prelouge as the author spelled it. This author is sixteen years old. I am struggling to contain the judgement that is seething inside me. I shall not resort to foul gifs and auditory japes, for I am a fair knight that knows an innocent maiden when I see one.
I WOKE UP IN THE MATRIX!!!! I seriously did. No joke. And then....
THE END!!!
And then a voice came that seemed to be coming from nowhere and everywhere at the same time. U know what I mean. No. Then get smarter and come back ^_^
Don't tell your readers to get smarter and come back no judgement shall not be withheld. YOU HAVE LOST THE FAVOR OF THIS KNIGHT SILVER TONGUED MAIDEN. TASTE THE SWEET, COLD STEEL OF MY GREATSWORD UNCOUTH WENCH.
I've been reading too much Game of Thrones is what has happened here.
"Dear Angel, u r truly an Angel. Such a pity you died when you should've had a long and better life ahead of u."
"Ha I know right what were the peeps up there thinkin"
-.-"
"Well ummm it was an accident that's y u get to be reborn in a world of your choice."
"Ooohhhh,yay!"
"And u get five wishes."
"YESH BISH, IMMA BECOME A SUPER SAYIAN!!"
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