Forgotten Boy

Talks

Josephine came to see me the next morning, I had hardly slept that night and Cole had left shortly after the conversation, so I'd stayed out until the early hours. She had seen me sat out on the bandstand, then watched as I went to my room and watched the world from the balcony.
"Are you okay?" She asked me, genuine concern on her face.

"I'm fine, I'm just having trouble sleeping." It wasn't a full lie...

"You were on the balcony for a long time. What were you thinking about?"

"Just worrying about the next moves of the inquisition." In actual fact I was watching the horizon, as I do every morning when the sun starts to rise, hoping I'll see the silhouette of the elf that I still loved.

"Is it to do with Solas?" She asked out of the blue and, caught off guard, I gaped at her for a moment before collecting myself.

"No, I-"

"He's not coming back. You know that."

Even though I knew full well that I wouldn't see him in a long time, if at all ever again, the confirmation of it made my insides sink.
"I know." I breathed.

"Were you together?"

"Yes." I admitted, trying not to show too much emotion in fear that someone might find out how much he really meant to me.

"You're special. Solas never opened up to anyone... you should focus on that." She got up and put a slender hand on my shoulder, "you know where I am."

I mustered a smile and she left, leaving me to bury my face in my hands and try not to let the sobbing start.

I heard a knock on the door and, assuming it was Josephine, I called for her to come in. Varric entered looking sheepish and I quickly stood, immediately putting up my guard again.
"Hey, I just wanted to talk about something that's been bothering me."

"Okay."

"It's Cole. He's, uh, taken it pretty hard about Solas leaving."

Haven't we all...

"How do you mean?"

"Usually I can't get him to shut his mouth but he's been awfully quiet lately. He won't talk about it but it's been going on since the guy left. It's gotta be that... I don't know what to do with him. I'm not expecting you to do much I just wanted some advice."

"I see. It's funny, the only person who'd have known what to do with Cole is-"

"Solas, I know," he rolled his eyes, "oh the irony... now can we please help the kid?"

"I'd like to help him but I wouldn't know where to start. How do spirits think?"

"Beats me! You hear him talk; most of the time I can't make any sense of it... but I try to. I just wanted a fresh opinion. That's all."

"I'll think about it. Maybe I'll talk to him."

"Just don't tell him that I told you, I'll sound like a protective father or something..."

"Okay." I smiled and he nodded quickly before leaving the room.
Cole quickly appeared next to me as I suspected he would.

"Why does he worry over me?" He asked flatly.

"He cares for you. You should feel lucky to have him here, he really is trying for you."

"I know. He feels like it's his duty. Why does he feel that way? He feels sorry for me; a lonely creature that has stumbled upon different, confusing creatures that needs guidance. Why has he taken that role?"

"He has a kind heart." I smiled, "you speak as though you're a burden."

"That's what I am, isn't it?"

"Why would you think that?"

"I can see the way people look at me... sharp, scornful, stabbing eyes, scared and suspicious... they don't like me. Some are just too polite to comment."

I couldn't argue because I knew he was right and he knew that too. I felt bad for him and realised what Solas must have meant to him. "You just have to look past the people that do that and focus on the people that do make an effort for you. Varric is very fond of you and so am I. It wouldn't be the same here without you so don't even think about going anywhere."

His eyes flashed with something that looked like an idea, maybe wondering how I knew he was thinking of leaving. "I won't leave. Not now I know that I am not hated by everyone."

"You aren't hated, Cole, you're misunderstood."

"Maybe if I talk like them then they might accept me."

"You don't have to talk like anyone but yourself. Don't change for anyone, especially not for people who don't care in the first place."

"Okay." He vanished for a moment and reappeared on the ledge of the balcony, "Solas didn't think about me when he left."

"Oh?"

"He thought about you, thought a lot about you, but no worries about me."

"Maybe he thought you would be okay on your own so didn't need to worry about you."

He thought about that, whether or not he chose to take it or not I don't know, but he changed the subject, "are you happier after talking?"

"Is that why you came up here?"
He remained silent, still waiting for my answer, "it's taken my mind off of things, yes."

"Good." He went with a black puff of smoke and left me standing alone on the balcony.

He did this every day for the next week, checking on me and talking about things, normally about the inquisition or about the people involved. He knew a lot about them and the more we talked, the more I realised that he didn't talk as much gibberish as everyone thought. Everything he said made perfect sense, if only to him.

On the 8th day he didn't show up. It was odd seeing as he'd always pop up somewhere before noon to speak to me. I wandered around the castle to see if anyone had seen him but no one had.
I sat on my balcony and waited for the sun.