We'll Always Have the Dickinson

Chapter One: The Beginning of the End

I never really imagined that things would come to this. I was living in a nightmare it felt like. Once I started this thing I couldn't stop. I had tasted the smallest ounce of freedom and I wanted more. The time we spent together was never enough. Everything just became so complicated in such a short span of time. I thought I had a handle on it but I guess I didn't. He had this hold on me. 

It was something that could ruin my entire life and it was my fault. I gave him that power and I was too afraid to take it back. I was in too deep. 

I knew this yet I found myself still on the fourth floor of the Dickinson Hotel. My fingers rubbed against the door key – Room 405. I pressed the button of the elevator. The eyes of the manager on mine as if he knew my entire life. I turned towards him and he cracked a slight smile at me, giving me the nod. I swallowed hard as I stepped inside of the small space, the doors closing behind me. My finger traced onto the fourth floor button as I pushed it in ever so gently. I pulled my cellphone out of my pocket switching it onto vibrate. The doors opened wide, inviting me onto the floor. I stepped out glancing down the all too familiar hallway - the fresh smell of laundry, the tacky maroon rug and the yellowish walls. I took my time, my eyes flickering over 401, 402, 403, and 404 until I finally reached my destination – 405.

I chewed on my lower lip for a moment, fumbling with the keys in my hands. A part of me wanted to walk away completely, but another part of me was yearning for him. I wanted his rough hands against my skin and I wanted to feel the smoothness of his body against mine. I needed his kiss, his touch, his love, his being. When I was with him I felt more alive than I had ever felt. It was more than sex. There was chemistry between us.

I hated that because it meant that there was a thing between us. He had desires. He wanted more but I couldn't give him that and it killed me. He could satiate my every need, but I couldn't satisfy his desires completely. It was selfish of me to do this to him. But I couldn't help it.

I shoved the key into the door finally, deciding to go inside. I shut the door behind me, glancing around for him. The sound of the shower echoed throughout the room as well as his terrible singing. I hung my jacket up in the closet, and walked to the bathroom door slowly. I was tempted to open the door but I stopped myself listening to him. He was in a good mood.

Love. Love will keep us together. Think of me baby whenever.

I sat on my bed about to toss my phone on the dresser when it vibrated. I glanced at my phone to see a picture of Anna, Breanna, Roseanne and I. Roseanne had sent it to me. My eyes skimmed across the words at the bottom – Christmas Photo 2013. What do you think, Honey? Do we look gorgeous or what?"

I smiled at the photo about to text her back, when the bathroom door opened.

"I thought I heard someone," Josh grinned leaning against the door frame, clutching his towel around his waist. His black hair was slicked back away from his face, revealing the smoothness of his forehead, and accentuating his square jaw and deep blue eyes. Water droplets slid down his chest and down his abs. His pink lips drew up into a smile as he dropped his towel down onto the ground, kicking it to the side. I stopped him just as he was about to walk towards me.

"Not today Josh," I said casually running my fingers through my hair. "I need to talk to you about something."

"Talk?" Josh said grabbing his boxers from off of the bed. He slid them on quickly before sitting down beside me on the king sized bed with the terrible floral print. He glanced at my cell phone, sighing as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"It's about her isn't it?" Josh huffed standing up. I grabbed his hand, holding it in mine for a second. He jerked his hand back in anger as he began pacing back and forth. He slid his hands through his wet hair, shaking his head.