We're So Human (Kellic)

12

The night fell upon us quickly. We stayed in bed for hours, hardly talking, just breathing in everything. When the air became cooler, encouraging us to hurry under the covers, the mood shifted and I knew things needed to be discussed. We couldn't hide in this bed forever. We can't just decide that this is where our new life starts, and forget that the old one ever existed.

Vic laid flat on his back, looking up to the ceiling like there were stars clinging from it. I lay on my stomach, my arms tucked under my chest, supporting me. I am still naked. Vic has shorts on.

"You were really mean to me earlier." I start. I don't want to pick a fight, I just want to dissect this. I want to make it smaller, simpler. Easier to digest.

Vic sighs. It isn't annoyed or tired, it is filled with regret. He shifts so he is now on his side, looking me right on.

"I don't know why I did that."

"Okay."

"I am sorry, though. It was really terrible of me. You know I would do anything to protect you--I always have. I was just being stupid." He explains. It pains him, it seems. I empathize.

"Were you trying to hurt me?"

"No," he jumps to the answer without hesitation. "Like I said, I was just being stupid and I wasn't thinking straight and I'm sorry. I am so sorry." He pushes himself closer towards me. It doesn't take him much to be close enough to kiss me. The kiss is soft and effortless. I sigh into it, contently. I can fill him pushing apologies down my throat. They have a sweet taste to them, like vanilla.

Half an hour passes and we still have hardly moved, only to kiss each other or check our phones.

"So, I have a confession." Vic speaks first. I sit up slightly and rest against one arm, angled to see him.

"You aren't the first guy I've slept with."

"You slept with Charlie," I assume. "I know."

"Yeah, Charlie...and others." He drifts.

My jaw drops dramatically. "What? Who?"

"Just random people."

"Why didn't you tell before? You know I wouldn't have judged you or anything." I offer, which is true. I am the last person to judge someone's lifestyle.

"I wasn't scared of what you would think. I just thought... I don't know, Since I still like girls, I just assumed that I would eventually marry a girl and then it wouldn't even matter." He shrugged off the complex. There is more to Vic and his sexuality, but I don't want to push him on it. I don't want to go on and tell him that he shouldn't deny himself of his desires. If he is attracted to boys, then he should let himself feel it. But I don't tell him this. I force them down for another time.

"So you're bi...or pan?"

"I don't know." He sighs. "It doesn't matter right now. All that matters is that you look very cute, naked in my bed and I want to kiss you."

I melt, falling close to him again to go for another round of kisses. I loved this. I loved being this close and intimate with him.

It is now 3 am and we are still in bed together. It feels like we have been here for years, like we have floated above everyone else and the rest of the world, to our own.

On and off we have been kissing and having conversations that don't really go anywhere. They are light and easy to carry until we fall bored of them.

"I can't wait to move. We are going to have a huge house with a big yard for all our dogs," I say. It feels like we are young again, like when he would sleep over at my house and we would talk all through the night about such random things, we would hardly remember them in the mornings. But Vic would usually sleep on the floor by my bed. Sometimes I would ask him to come up with me. I would say I felt bad having him on the floor. Deep down, The question was always more to me. Somewhere in me, I wanted him to just lay with me, so we can stare at the stars on my ceiling together. I wanted him close so when he talked to me, it wouldn't be in whispers that I could hardly hear. They would be right beside me. He would be so close that I would be able to hear his soft breathing and his light swallow before a lip parting--because even his talking was beautiful.