Conflict Of Interest

Chapter 2: Reality

Chapter 2...... Reality

I woke up the next morning bright and early as I heard the traffic outside my window. I opened my eyes to see my ceiling. A new day in the life that I live and I knew this cycle would never end. I tossed my blankets down as a cool breeze chilled my half naked body. It was awfully cool for a June morning but I wasn't complaining 

"Good morning." I heard someone say

I shot up into a sitting position to see someone standing in my doorway. I covered my body with my blankets, out of habit and the fact that I was half naked. Though he has seen me like this and worse before. But being covered makes me feel less vulnerable

"Scott what are you doing?" I asked

"I came to say good morning." He said as he smiled

I sighed as I placed my hand on my heart because it was racing. I tossed my blankets away and I quickly grabbed my silk night gown. I slipped it one, then I got out of bed, I slipped on my slippers. The I put my robe because I was cold. It was Saturday morning. Scott still stood in the doorway as I approached him. I was still mad from the night before. Though I'm sure this abusive cycle could no longer be blamed on the alcohol. Maybe the alcohol isn't to blame at all. Maybe that's a lie that I tell myself because I believe that he still loves me and wouldn't hurt me. I inwardly sighed

"Please move." I said above a whisper

He grabbed my hips and pulled me into his body. I wanted him to let me go but I knew I couldn't win. I knew that from all the other times I've tried to get away from him. It was no use. I kept my face down and my eyes closed as he grinned both our bodies together

"Scott let me go." I said louder

He stopped then he grabbed my chin tight but not as tight as yesterday. My eyes fluttered as I finally opened my eyes to look at him. His green eyes were lit with fire. My eyes were probably over exaggerating fear because well I feared him, and I had every right to. After what he's done to me

"Stop being so scared." He said

I just looked at his eyes. How could I not be scared of him? He has no remorse when he hurts me, most of the time it's when he is drunk. He controls me, beats me, hides me, makes me live in fear. He's an alcoholic that's what makes him worse, he is already abusive and alcohol makes everything worse. He's not the guy I fell in love with, and he's the guy I can't leave. I fear for my life

"What did I do?" He asked

His voice was soft and caring like the one I used to know. I was hoping he was willing to bring his old self back, but I knew that was never possible. Like I said before he has no recollection of what he did last night or maybe he does, he just wants to see what he did and be proud of it. He let go of my face, I turned my head so he could see the still somewhat visible hand print on my face

"Wow." He said as he smiled

"You're smiling." I said

"So."

"You hurt me." I said

"So."

I just shook my head and looked back down, I was right. The man who I fell in love with no longer existed, but to others he was still there. No one knew that I needed help, no one ever heard my cry for it. No one ever saw the fake smile or the sadness behind my eyes. Everyone thought I was fine, but the truth is each day things get worse. I had no one to turn to. I was alone.

"I can do whatever I want to you." He said

I was scared now because I know what he was thinking and I didn't want him to do it. He started to untie my robe. My stomach turned