The corpse of the past

Chapter 18: Am I ready?

I know I used to keep it here on the sink.

Maybe I put it under the sink.

I open the small doors and start to look for my green nail polish. Hah! There it is. I stretch my hand to grab it, but when I do, I come across a light blue silk ribbon.

I get a lump in my throat as I pick it up.

I sit down on my butt and press the ribbon to my nose. It even smells like her. Like ... Like Prim.

Prim.

This is her light blue silk ribbon. I don't even wear ribbons.

The tears starts to flow and I can't stop the scream that pops out of my throat.

Prim. My innocent baby sister. My sister who got bombed. My innocent sweet sister who didn't deserve to die. She really didn't. She was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. I want my sister back. Primrose Everdeen. I want her back.

I hear the door open and Peeta runs inside. I look up at him. But he's blurry because of all my tears. I wish I could see him clearly, but I can't stop the tears.

Peeta stops for a second while he take in the scene before him; me sitting in the floor, hugging a silk ribbon while having a breakdown. He puts two and two together.

"Oh Katniss..." He mumbles.

Soon he's on his knees and his arms are wrapped around me. I lean my head on his chest as I keep sobbing and shaking violently. Peeta strokes my hair.

"Shh... Shh, she's in a better place now Katniss, a place where no harm can get to her", Peeta says. "She's safe now, she's in a better place".

I take in Peetas words. A better place? Well maybe that's true.

That actually comforts me a bit.

"A better place?" I ask, looking up at Peeta.

Peeta nods.

"Yeah, a better place baby, she's happy now, she didn't want to leave you, but she's happy", Peeta says.

And somehow I can feel that she is. Maybe there really is a life after death. I don't believe that crap. But still, the thought of that, actually makes me calm down.

I stop shaking and then finally I stop crying.

"Thank you Peeta", I say.

"I'm always here for you", he says and wipe away the lasting tears in my face. I smile at him.

I really have the best boyfriend. He really is the best. I really don't know how he could choose me over other girls. But I'm glad that he did. I would never be able to cope without him.

"How about that picnic now?" I ask.

"We don't have to", Peeta says.

"But I want to", I say and stand up, helping Peeta up as well.

"You sure?" Peeta asks.

I am. I want to have a picnic with my boyfriend. And I know exactly where.

"Yes, and I know the perfect place", I say. "Is the picnic done?"

Peeta nods.

"Come on than", I say, grabbing Peetas hand and start to drag him out of the bathroom.

When we come down, Peeta grabs the picnic basket and we walk out of the house.

It's warm outside and Peeta was right. It is a really nice day today.

I lead him towards the fence.