Royal Melody (Michael Jackson)

Chapter 2- The Pregnancy's

November 5 1981

So it happened...we have not even been married a year and I've fallen pregnant. Out of all the horrible things that could happen in my life right now, I had to fall pregnant. I couldn't bare the feeling of not being a good mother because of my depression.

When Charles found out he was not happy at all, he look like he was going to hit me so I ran into the bathroom and locked the door.

I just knew he wouldn't be a good father.

We made our homes at Kensington Palace and at Highgrove House. My pregnancy was officially announced.

January 1982
12 weeks pregnant
1:05pm

I glanced down the large marble staircase, I was high up looking down into the darkness that lay below me. The moonlight streaming through the large palace windows illuminated my white silk gown. I closed my eyes.

I could feel myself falling.

I threw myself down the staircase.

It's not that I wasn't happy to have a baby but my conscience was blacked out by the thought of being bound to Charles forever no matter what. I knew he wouldn't be a good father and I didn't want my child to suffer with me.

The royal gynaecologist was summoned from London. After the royal guard heard me screaming in pain at the bottom of the staircase on the floor.

He found that although I had suffered severe bruising, the fetus was uninjured.

For some reason I was glad that I didn't kill it. But Charles refused to speak to me and said I need to grow up and face my problems because he's sick of me and my depression.

He had been acting suspicious latey and I knew why...
The late night, intamite phone calls
Suddenly not having enough time for the children because of meetings.

He was having an affair.

21 June 1982

In a private Wing of St Mary's Hospital in Paddington, London, under the care of Pinker, I gave birth to mine and Charles first son and heir, William Arthur Philip Louis.

One of the very few days in my life, I held something that was worth more than all my jewels and crowns that I was ever givin.

15 September 1984

My second son, Henry Charles Albert David, was born. I asserted that Charles and I were closest during this pregnancy with Harry, which we prefer to call him.

I was aware my second child was a boy, but did not share the knowledge with anyone else, including the Charles.

I gave my sons wider experiences than was usual for royal children. I rarely deferred to the Prince or to the Royal Family, and was often intransigent when it came to my children.

I chose their first names, dismissed a royal family nanny and engaged one of my own choosing, Velvet, selected their schools and clothing, planned their outings, and took them to school myself as often as my schedule permitted. I also organised my public duties around their timetables.

I try my best to give them the most normal life possible, I don't want them to have an unhappy life. I wish I could take them somewhere that is far away where they can have fun and never have to worry about grown up royal things again...

Within five years of my marriage, mine and Charles incompatibility and age difference, as well as my concern about Charles's secret relationship with Camilla Parker Bowles, Duchess of Cornwal, who he has been having the affair with, became visible and damaging to our marriage.

He's been trying to suck up to the press to keep a good image for us, that we are happy. But they are still suspicious of him and his relationship with Camilla.

I wanted to file for divorce but I don't want to hurt my children. They look at him with such admiration, like he was thier superhero.

I knew he would use me up until I was nothing then move onto someone else. I've never been wanted or actually loved, except by my children.

I've just decided to go through my life with no goal, so many false stories about me all over the world people believe.

I just want to runaway with my children...to a far away place.

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