A Year Without You

23 ~ Her

I shook my head directly. "No, of course not. Shayne and I are clear about everything. And he's becoming a dear friend, but our relationship doesn't step further than that..."

"But had he ever asked you out?" His voice was low enough I could have missed it. But all my sense was heightened and aware about his presence.

"As I've said, there is really nothing between us. Why do you keep on asking me about it?"

"He's a guy, Emilia. And I'm not blind. I can see how he looks at you when I saw him," he replied despairingly.

I couldn't hold back a smile tugged at the edge of my lips. "Are you jealous?" I chuckled in disbelief.

He snorted but didn't verbally disregard my words. The waiter, who seemed to know when to timely appear, saved him again. After our meals were served, it was unlikely for us to get interrupted again unless we called for anyone. While we both picked and chewed for a good few minutes, I finally brought up the inevitable conversation.

"I presumed you've already talked with her," I stated rather than asked and stressed on the 'her'.

"Yes. Just this morning actually."

"Was she...?"

"Marisa isn't the kind of woman who'd make a scene out in public and embarrassed me for breaking up with her. She's much more refined than such childish act."

"I see." I nodded, seemingly relieved than I should.

"But it doesn't mean I was off the hook, though. She was irritated, but she kept her cool. It made things difficult between us since we are working together for the new coffee shop."

"She's working with you?"

"Ah, yes. I forgot to mention that she's my interior designer," he chortled dryly. Not a humor in his words.

"Did she drop the job?"

"Of course, not. She kept it professional between us, even at the end. We wouldn't be seeing each other and the rest of the exchange would be through email. That's more than enough I could ask for her."

I only nodded in reply, not sure what to say at that point. I couldn't comfort him for the loss since he was loosing her for me. He chooses me over her. For a moment, looking at his dejected expression, I wanted him to run back to her. But then what had I been doing at this point? I knew the consequences of our choice, though it doesn't make thing better. We hurt people for the mistakes we made, and we had to live with that.

"Are you okay?" I asked, all feeling of doubt was gone. This was the choice we made.

"Yes, I am. I'm okay."

"Collin, I wanted to say that I'm sorry for partly the foolishness I had created and took you away. I can see that you did love her. But I'm a greedy and selfish person. I don't want to lie about that part of me."

"It's okay. I'm also guilt of being selfish. Even though I still had feeling for you, I pushed myself and gone out with Marisa. All of this is on me. So please don't take that burden upon yourself."

"I'm as much guilty as you on that. If only I hadn't denied myself when you asked to come back, this wouldn't had happened."

"But if we hadn't gone through what we did, would we have realized how much we wanted each other in our lives?"

I had to smile at his statement. He was right. The distance and the mistakes became a catalyst for us to realize the weight of our loss. It made me rethink how Collin mattered in my life.