drugs & alcohol | d.l

22/0.2

                                                                            (^^ BRUHHHH^^)

I sit in my apartment almost 5 hours after Nate left, his words swirling around in my head. "feelings are a fucking bitch"... Got that right maloley.  i sit there for a few minutes before deciding what im going to do, i pick up my phone and text Nate.

To Mr steal yo gurl, N.M :

I'm coming over, leave the door unlocked, and don't even try and pretend your asleep, i saw your IG post 20 mins ago. :)

Read 12:48am

From Mr steal yo gurl, N.M :

Aight ,door's unlocked, i'll be in my room. Grab the ice cream outta the freezer on your way up plz :)

Read 12:51am

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i make my way to the house, wearing an oversized hoodie that stops just above my knees, and a pair of black vans, hair up in a messy bun and no makeup on, i made sure to brush my teeth before i left considering i ate a ton of food and my breath probably smelt disgusting. i didn't have to wear anything special since everyone else will still be at the party, and its only Nate.

i pull up to the house and like he said, the door was unlocked. i quickly jog to the kitchen to grab the tub of chocolate ice cream from the freezer and grab 2 spoons on the way out, making my way up the stairs and into Nate's room.i stand at the door for a few seconds, contemplating on whether or not i wanted to do this, and after at least a minute of me arguing with myself, i slowly open the door and look inside the room.

i don't see Nate on his bed or in the closet, which means he's having a shower, so i decide to plop myself on his bed and open the ice cream, digging in. after about 5 minutes of me just sitting on Nate's bed eating ice cream,i hear the shower turn off and the shower door close, signalling that Nate will be out in about 2 minutes, making me nervous. i sit up with my back straight, leaning against the headboard with the ice cream tub in my lap, i continue eating until the bathroom door opens, revealing Nate in a pair of grey sweats, the waistband of his black calvin kleins showing, not wearing a shirt, wet curly hair tied up in a messy man bun. i also noticed he had just shaved, which is odd, it's the middle of the night and he JUST shaved... okay.

he sees me sitting on the bed and laughs a bit

"hey" he greets with a small smile

"hi" i say back softly

"how come you just took a shower then?" i asked him, trying to make conversation

"the water's always hotter in the middle of the night" he said putting his towel down on a chair in the corner of the room

he sits on the other end of his bed and just stares at me, clearly waiting for me to say something, since i'm the one that texted him, hes obviously waiting for me to say something first.

"look, i'm with Derek Nate, i love Derek, and i know it's probably heartbreaking to hear me say this but, i do love him, more than i've loved anyone in my life. when Indi and i met the two of you, i so didn't expect an outcome like this, i didn't expect to be crazy in love with someone i haven't known for long, but it happened. Indi loves you Nate, she really does, and i know sometimes you get the feeling she doesn't because of the way she is, and honestly, so do i, but that's just Indi, she'll give you the stank face while thinking how much she loves you, and then she'll be all lovey with you when really all she wants to do is kick you in the face, but that's my best friend and i love her. you two really are something different, Nate, she needs you." i say grabbing his hand and holding it.