VICIOUS (II) : peter pan ouat

How to Find a Killer

I quickly grab one, eating the corn and meat off the plate. There's not much to do, especially since everyone seems to be heading in the opposite direction as me. Spotting Robert and Harry sitting together, I head to them.

My knees find the ground, and I sit across from them.

Harry looks at me, before furrowing his brow. He grins, happy. "Man, I can't believe you managed to fool everyone."

I snort, careful to keep the food in my mouth. I swallow before speaking. "Well, I didn't fool everyone. A few people had it figured out."

"Who?" He asks.

I shrug. "Johnny. A few others, but they are gone."

"Did James know?" Robert suddenly pipes in.

He drops his hands, so his face is no longer buried in them. His eyes are bloodshot, and his nails bitten down. His skin is peeling off around his cheeks.

I wonder how long it's been since James's death. How long was I out?

"No," I shake my head. "No, he didn't."

Robert relaxes, before turning back to me. "Do you remember what he said, during the fire?"

No, I don't. That fire was a blur, a flash of flames and adrenaline. The only things I remember are the things I saw, not the things I heard.

That's not entirely true. I remember the screams.

I shake my head.

"Harry, can I have a minute?" Robert asks.

Harry lifts his hand off of Robert's shoulder, getting up and walking away.

"He's just trying to be helpful." I offer.

"I don't need to be coddled." Robert argues, sniffing. "James is dead, and it sucks, but I'll get through it. He's just trying not to think about Thomas."

"He cares about you." I offer.

Robert looks at me. "I need to know what James meant. When you told him Dominique was dead in the forest, you said you didn't kill him this time. He said, and during a fire no less, and you said, not this time."

I exhale, straightening up. I didn't imagine keeping Samuel's death a secret forever, but it might as well come out. It was self-defence, I won't be killed. Besides, Robert needs answers.

"Samuel attacked me and James during the Game." I tell him. "He nearly killed us, so I killed him. During the fire."

Robert looks down at his hands, before looking back up. "James knew?"

I nod. "He didn't tell you to protect me. If it got out-"

"Yeah," he nods.

It's not fair that I have to tell stories to Robert because James can't anymore.

"I'm sorry he's dead." I tell him. "Are you alright?"

He scoffs, and his eyes are glossy. "Yeah. Whatever."

"Robert," I offer, reaching for his hands.

He shoves me off. "None of you get it. You can't get it. James is dead, all to save some boy who was already dead. His death meant nothing, and he ran laughing into it."

"Listen I'm-"

"Sorry?" He stands up now.

I follow him up.

"Everyone's sorry, but nobody gets it." He shouts. "Nobody gets it. Nobody can get it."

He storms away. I don't chase after him. It's not my place, it's not my business. I barely knew James. He saved my life, and I saved his. I just couldn't do it a second time.