Breaking Her Rules

Chapter 12

Toby and I are lying under the bed in the spare room of Ainsley's house. The bass is thumping downstairs and reverberating through the house, and I can feel my heart beating in my throat. Small spaces don't make me anxious, but sometimes when I'm left alone with my heartbeat I start thinking about blood clots and aneurysms. It's all irrational fear, and I have to push past it, because there's a more urgent problem at hand.

Duncan Forrester has just led some drunk girl into the bedroom and closed the door behind him.

I glance at Toby. I don't want to be under the bed while Duncan Forrester has sex with some girl – this is literally the last thing in the world I want. But Toby shakes his head aggressively and gives me a look that says, "We cannot reveal ourselves!"

Duncan pushes the girl down onto the bed and she shrieks and laughs, and then he seems to crawl on top of her.

'I missed the old you,' she murmurs. I recognise the voice, and my stomach lurches. I stare at Toby's face, waiting for his recognition, but he just frowns at me.

I pull out my phone and make sure it's switched to silent before typing "Taylor + Duncan".

Toby's jaw drops, and he stares at me. I'm glad he's surprised, because it means Toby didn't know about Taylor getting with anyone before.

So here Taylor is, roaring drunk and flirting with Duncan Forrester on my bed while her boyfriend is downstairs, completely oblivious.

I'm still wearing only my underwear and just clutching the dress to me, otherwise I would be diving out from under the bed and confronting Taylor. As it is, I lie, paralysed, and listen to the two of them making out.

I grind my jaw, frustrated at my complete hopelessness of the situation. I just really hope they don't start having sex.

It takes almost five minutes of making out before Taylor says, 'Watson is going to start wondering where I am. I have to talk to him, okay?'

'No, Taylor, listen. Stop with the Watson thing. You don't have to do it any longer. Just stay with me,' Duncan's words sound like a plead but he says it in a gruff, demanding voice, and I almost feel sorry for Taylor for how oppressive Duncan is until I remember she's currently cheating on Watson.

'No, Duncan, I really need to get back to him. What if he comes looking for me?' Taylor whines.

'Fine, you go talk to him.'

Taylor stands up. Now she's barefoot, but she puts her shoes back on and then walks out the door. She turns around and says, 'Are you coming?'

'Yeah, I'll be right there,' Duncan says. I listen to Taylor walk down the hall and down the steps. Duncan closes the door slowly, and then kicks the bed forcefully. 'Fuck that stupid bitch,' he says to himself, and then he walks out.

'Holy fuck,' Toby says as soon as he's gone. I scramble out from under the bed and throw my dress on. 'That was crazy. Listen, Em, I know what you're thinking, but you can't tell Watson.'

I blink at him, shocked. 'What?' I say. I was just about to go downstairs and find Watson to tell him.

'What if he asks you how you know? What are you going to say? You were just upstairs hiding under the bed alone? I can't back you up, because I have to pretend I wasn't with you. Please, we can't let anyone find out about us.'

'How hypocritical is that?' I snap. 'I can't tell my best friend his girlfriend is cheating on him because you're worried someone will find out you're cheating on your girlfriend? Come on, Toby. He's my best friend.'

'Em, come on. We can't let anyone know about us. I'm going to break up with Scarlet, you know I am. Then you can tell Watson, I promise. Pretend I told you or something, come on. Please just wait for me to break up with Scarlet.' He grabs both of my hands and looks at me with puppy dog eyes but I pull my hands out of his grip, suddenly furious.

'Wait for you? I've been waiting for weeks! I hate this.'

'I'm trying, Emily.'

'No you're not,' I snap. 'I'm sorry, but I have to tell Watson. I won't say you were there, and no one will know we were together. You're not going to get in trouble from your stupid girlfriend.'

I spin around and walk out of the room and downstairs, hoping I look presentable. I check myself in the mirror as I walk past, and although my hair is slightly messy I still look fine. I walk out into the backyard, where I find Watson sitting with a few of the boys.

'Are you alright?' he says. 'You look like you're about to burst into tears. Don't tell me you just ran into Duncan?'

'You could say that,' I say. 'I need to talk to you.'

He stands up but he wobbles and I have to grab his hand to support him. I help him navigate away from the crowd and towards the fence, where we sit down away from everyone. He pulls out his packet of cigarettes, but he needs my help to light a smoke. He blames the wind, but I know he's just drunk.

'Listen, I have something bad to tell you,' I say gently. He pulls a big draw from his cigarette and holds it in his chest before blowing it up above his head.

'You can't get mad at me,' I say. 'Don't shoot the messenger.'

'I couldn't be mad at you.' He grins, and he leans close to me, and I can feel his smoky breath on my face. 'You're my beautiful Emmy.'

'You're drunk,' I say. 'Listen, I was just upstairs. Taylor was up there, in the spare bedroom. She was getting with Duncan. They made out on the bed and Duncan was trying to convince Taylor to have sex with him but she was pretty drunk.'

Watson just stares at me. 'You are really drunk,' he says, and he laughs. 'Taylor is sitting over there with the Landor girls.'

He points towards the Landor girls, but Taylor isn't there. He's too drunk to see.

'She's not there,' I say.

'Yeah she is,' he says. 'I know you don't like her, okay? That's okay. You know one time I had a crush on you, too,' he tells me.

'What?' I say.

'I had a crush on you,' he says. 'Back in grade eight, or nine. Actually pretty much up until grade ten.'

'Right,' I say. 'What's that got to do with anything?'

He laughs and blows smoke above my head. I frown at him. 'I know you have a crush on me,' he says. 'It's okay, Emmy. Come on, we've been friends for ages so I'm not judging you, but I'm sorry, I don't have feelings for you anymore. I love Taylor.'

I grit my teeth. 'She's fucking cheating on you, Watson, and for the last time, I do not have feelings for you, so stop being so self-absorbed!'

He laughs. 'Me, self-absorbed? No, that's you.' He says it with a smile but it annoys me. 'You think you can just tell me lies about Taylor and I'll come running to you and love you? I'm sorry, but I'm never going to be with you, so stop your daydreaming! Taylor is not cheating on me! You're just jealous.'

'God, I'm not in love with you,' I snap. 'Fucking hell, I never liked you, Watson. I loved Lucas. You knew that. I always, always loved Lucas. But I fucking learnt my lesson, didn't I? Don't fall in love with your best friend, because he will fuck you over and never talk to you again. Lucas may be a dickhead, but at least he's not stupid. You think I have a crush on you? I can promise you, I don't. You're blind, Watson. You're blind drunk and you can't see Taylor is a bitch, and she doesn't love you, and she's fucking Duncan Forrester behind your back.'

I stand up, and Watson stands up too, but he either gets a head spin or he's just too drunk because he has to hold onto the fence.

'I tried to warn you,' I say. I wonder if those are tears in my eyes. I wonder how drunk I am. Watson tries to make a retort but I walk off, my throat burning, and I bite my lip, trying to stem the tears.