Remus bought us two butterbeers, and we sat at a corner table, at Three Broomsticks. Remus was really sweet, but my mind constantly drifted off to Sirius.
"(Y/N)" Remus said."Please talk to me"
"Im so sorry !" I said. "I must be the worst date ever"
"No you're not "
"Why are you all being so nice to me ?" I asked, feeling weak.
"Because thats how you are !" Remus said. "You are one of the nicest girls I've known !"
"You are too kind to say that, Remus" I said. "I dont deserve it"
"Sure you do ! Look at me, (Y/N) !"
He held my hand in his tightly.
"The love that you have for Sirius" he said. "Its so true ! Sirius has never experienced that kind of love before, (Y/N). "
"Of course he has" I said, my eyes filling up with tears. "You all love him..."
"Yes we do, but thats different" Remus said softly. "You have no clue how much he is missing, you, (Y/N)... Please dont think that Im justifying him "
I shook my head.
"I know him, (Y/N)...underneath all this bad boy image, is just a lost kid...he is so vulnerable sometimes, he needs that one person who can pull him together when he is broken...he is constantly looking for that one person , not realising that she is right in front of his eyes"
"I cant-" I was in full fledged sobs now. I lowered my face to Remus' hands, as I cried. He stroked my hair gently.
"I love him, Remus. " I said. "Too much...it kills me to see him with someone else...I held on for too long "
"I know, sweetheart" Remus said, soothingly. "I know its unfair"
"I dont think he will ever see it" I cried.
"Please calm down" said Remus, now handing me some paper towels.
I wiped my face with them and sat up straight.
"Its alright." I said. "I just want him to be happy. "
"(Y/N)." Remus said. "Things will get better...Please, just come back to us...we need you !"
I nodded. I needed my friends too
* * *
Once back in the common room, Remus hugged me.
"Thank you, Remus" I said, kissing him on the cheek. "Good night"
My dorm was empty when I stepped in. Alice must be with Frank and Lily with James. Well it felt good to be alone for a while. I changed into my pyjamas, and climbed into bed, and pulled the blanket upto my nose.
I was so tired, my muscles were all achy. I just needed a good long sleep. Just as I was beginning to drift into sleep, the door opened and closed softly.
I lay still on the bed. I didnt want a conversation at the moment. I heard soft sniffing and snuffling. Someone was crying.
"Lily ?" My voice was soft, and gorgy from sleep. Just as I sat up, the door opened and closed again.
* * *
When I woke up the morning, Lily was in front of the mirror, doing something to her hair.
"Lily ?"
"Yeah ?" Lily turned around to face me, with a warm smile.
"Is everything alright ?" I asked, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.
"Sure" Lily said, sitting next to me. "Why did you ask ?"
"I thought I heard crying last night" I said. "So it wasnt you ?"
Lily shook her head, and squeezed my hand.
"How was your date, (Y/N) ?" She asked.
"Remus was really sweet" I said. "Lily, I-"
"You just need to relax" She said, cutting me off.
I just fell back to bed.
* * *
My eyes searched for only one person. And he wasnt at the common room or the Great Hall.
"Sirius ?" I asked Lily.
Lily shrugged, and then turned to James.
"Wheres he ?"
"Sleeping" James said, and the boys shared an uneasy look.
"Is he ok ?" I asked.
"He didnt sleep last night" Peter said, only to be swatted by James.
"Whats going on guys ?" I asked, exhaling loudly.
"Its nothing, (Y/N)" James said. "Hes in one of his moods. "
I was angry. Why did everyone act like I was made of glass or something!
They were trying to help, but it obviously didnt.
"(Y/N)!" Lily was running to keep up with me.
"Just let me be, Lils!" I said, stalking away. "I just need to clear my head !"
"Please be ok, (Y/N)" Lily said, stopping.
"I love you, Lily" I said, going back to hug my friend. "I just need to be alone, ok?"
Lily nodded.
* * *
I was back on my bed, under my blanket. I just missed him so much, it made me weak, and tired. I was so lost in thought that I didnt hear the door open. But suddenly my heart skipped a beat.
I knew that smell. I knew it too well.
Sirius climbed into my blanket, and put his arms around me tightly. I could feel his heart beating really fast on my back, and his face pressed against my neck.
"Im so sorry" he said in between his tears. "Please come back (Y/N), please dont leave me !"
It broke my heart to hear him cry like that. I turned around to face him.
"Sirius,please stop " I said, wiping his tears away. "Please"
I hugged him tightly, as he pressed his face to my chest, shivering, and tried to catch his breath.
When he was finally breathing normally, I loosened my grip on him, and pulled away, not knowing what to do.
We both lay on my bed, on our sides, looking at eachother.
"Please forgive me, (Y/N)..." he whispered. "I didnt know how important you were to me, when you were there"
I just listened quietly, as he spoke.
"But, you just left one day, and I didnt know what to do ! I didnt know that I loved you, till you left...all those girls, they were never you ! They just wanted to snog me, no one ever cared, but you..." he said,now wiping a tear that rolled down my cheek. "I was so insanely jealous when Remus told me about your date ! I just couldnt...thats when I knew -"
He took a deep breath.
"I was so mad at him, and then he told me..." he continued.
I couldnt look at him anymore. I felt far too embarrassed. It was obvious that Remus had told him about my feelings for him.
"(Y/N), Please give me a chance" Sirius said. "Please...I swear I will be good ! I swear I will make it up to you! "
He sat up, pulling me up with him.
"I swear I will never make you cry again, and love you for every minute our lives" he whispered. And paused for a moment, as if thinking what to say next.
"And to give you lots of beautiful babies !"
I laughed at that. This was Sirius Black.
"Lots ?" I asked, still laughing.
"Lots ! Many ! How many ever you want !" He said, now his face lighting up.
He cupped my cheeks with his hands and said, "You are so beautiful, (Y/N)"
I smiled slightly at that.
"I will keep you happy...Please just let me show you...I promise you wont regret it " He said. "I love you, (Y/N)"
"I love you too, Sirius Black" I whispered, as he leaned forward to kiss me. It was a soft sweet kiss, and he pulled me into a hug.
"Im never letting you go" He whispered. "Never"
